come to school 6.30 am.. and the control room still hasnt open.. i thought i was on duty as i was yesterday but no.. i'm not on duty.. but i VOLUNTERILLY come and helped them with the backstage.. alot of problem occured during the teachers' day concert.. thanks to me of course.. i was as if the overall in charge for the backstage when i just know the first item.. mrs leong said that it was a last minute suprise for the teachers, it was totally a suprise to me.. all the events suddenly appeared and i didnt know anything about it.. great.. how lucky i am.. tell me.. i kept running up and down to the control room and backstage just to confirm with the song and all stuff.. btw by doing all this, i can lose fats and praticed for my run tommorrow..

i was SO stres just nows.. STRESS i tell you.. mr dave ask me not to panicked.. fine i'm not.. kept saying this phrase over and over again so that i would be patient.. only my close friends knows what phrase i'm talking about.. i cried.. mrs leong tell me that i've done a great job.. what a compliment.. first, i've dropped the walkie-talkie and it spoilt.. but luckily, i dont need to pay anything cause mr dave is using the PA fund.. how good is him.. secondly, the mc mike got something wrong.. suddenly got sound.. suddenly dont have any sound.. lastly, i feel that everyone is like not happy with me.. what have i done wrong.. it wasnt the best event ever for the PA.. and i say EVER!

after school was at least better.. juli and me was searching for ms lim cause we wanted to take the science test earlier cause by the time, we taking the tests, juli will be in shanghai.. she so lucky.. she so rich.. i envy her.. haiz.. but when we searched for ms lim, she was not inside her staff room so juli went home while me was waiting for my eng oral..

my eng oral was so much BETTER than malay oral.. i sucks at malay oral i know.. cikgu give me questions for the conversation topics and i would answer only one or two sentences.. how good is that.. i couldn talk longer than 4 mins for oral.. i'm like there.. keep saying.. um.. hm.. ah.. like.. i could only make this sounds cause there are some words that i wanted to say out but i just couldnt translate it into malay.. hahax.. =).. i kept telling cikgu i'm not good at this.. but she asked me to try..

well, after i've done my oral, cikgu and i talk about OUR personal stuff.. thanks to her i was about to cry twice.. how emotional can i be.. and she teases me.. hahax.. she so bad.. hahax.. kidding.. talk about 1 hour with her before left the malay class-room.. then went to 2e1 but only lee ping was there.. ask her wheres shuk they all.. she said maybe they playing capt. ball at the parade square but when i went down, no one was there.. so i searched them and saw them at bb court.. haiz.. never played any game cause i wasnt in the mood to play games nowadays.. i'm just bored of playing.. ya.. i was bored!

aniway, i wanna end here.. having the cross-country run tommorrow.. wanna have a earlier rest.. wish me good luck if i run.. maybe i'm not.. i'm so darnly lazy.. gud nite all!

If Only You Know
1:00 PM

TO BE CRITIZIED IS BETTER THAN TO BE IGNORED!!!!

a qoute that i remember when reading this book about qoutes with my 4th lao gong [hl], jeff and my newest lao gong [kenz] in the library.. hahax.. =) read about loniless, love, friends and men.. hahax.. =)

surprised.. shocked.. i'm totally feeling them just now and right now, i'm still cant believe it.. only those who are close to me will know what i'm talking about.. i'm totally in disbelief.. TOTALLY!! keep on bragging about it to all the peeps around me.. i've been crazy everytime i saw him.. is there something behind all this craziness? and if it is, what is it actually? what am i feeling that way? hm.. strange..

i'm sick of being so unhappy.. dont want to let anything make me feel so low.. i shall be more happy.. where there's used to be a broken and tormented girl inside me.. where she always wanna hide.. ya.. i guess alot of peple are pretending to put the fake smile nowadays.. i would smile and laugh sincerely from the bottom of my heart.. i wont be angry for no cause.. i would be patient, i would talk to people nicely and dont take LIFE so seriously..

well, gotta end here.. nothing to blog anymore.. so ciaoz peeps.. gud nite! sweet dreams!

If Only You Know
1:40 PM

i started my revision.. yeah.. at last.. been waiting for this day for ages.. i'm so like showing off to my bro.. i think he's going 3e3 next year.. he's like so slacking and couldnt care less about the streaming exam coming.. he's so like chilling.. watching tv.. claps.. shouting.. peeps talking.. i'm hearing now from the tv he's watching.. while me.. staying inside my room for just to write notes for science and maths..

but now, i'm blogging here to de-stress myself.. hahax.. trying to improve my eng by blogging.. aniwae, i've still stuck on chapter 3 with science.. hahax.. =).. left about 12 chapters to go.. hahax.. i've regretted to slack during science lesson for the last few months.. and now, i've creating the word "stress" to myself.. but thanks to ms lim that i'm slacking during her lessons.. it is plainly boring that i'm usually sings songs during science lessons.. pity sumee and juli to hear my sucky voice.. either i sings songs or i'll just counting the time where her lesson will finish.. 15 mins left.. 5 mins left.. juli kept remind me day by day that i'm being so bad to ms lim.. i'm so cruel to her.. but i got no choice but to entertain myself by doing all this stupid and childish game..

btw, i'm taking my eng oral on tuesday and my malay oral tommorrow.. i'm like keeping on postphoning all the important stuff.. i'm feeling stress with all the things.. keep on thinking about studying lately.. they became my TOP priority ever since mrs leong is doing the countdown for upcoming exam on the board.. should i blame her.. nah.. i'm not that unreasonable you know..

talking about being unreasonable.. i'm sorry for being so selfish to you that i keep on thinking about myself only.. i should try to understand you.. you should tell me what you've been feeling and all stuff.. dont always keep all the things to yourself k.. by doing this, whats the use of me having you by my side when i cant even know whats up with you and whats happening with you.. if we gonna make this relationship last long, you should tell me the things that you've kept in the inside which is to you, it is important for me to know.. i'm not forcing you to tell me everything.. like what colour is your underwear.. by what age, you would have sex and with who.. hahax.. cant imagine myself that you would tell me all that.. hahax.. =)..

aniway, lately i've having a senile illness.. hahax.. i've been forgetting things that i need to do and the words that i've said.. but its not worst case.. been feeling stress i think.. am i repeating the same thing with the word stress?? i think i should stop my brain to stop thinking about what to write next so that i wont feel stress anymore.. hahax.. ciaoz.. good nite..

If Only You Know
10:40 AM

wee.. change skin at last.. hahax.. been waiting for this saturday for quite a long time.. sssh.. thats a secret why i'm waiting for it.. nah.. not my birthday.. nor anyone i know.. tommorow is the date that used to be so important to me.. but now, its just a normal day.. just a normal weekend.. just a nothing to me anymore..

thanks jason and juline for your advice.. i know i should tell him but i just dont want it to sounds as if i'm force him to do that.. i told him once and i dont want to tell him again.. it may makes me sad, hurt or anything like that but just let me suffer my own pain.. the pain that used to be a burden to someone... i know deep inside he cares for me but he just didnt show it out.. i used to be like that.. been in that position for so long.. and now, i've change to treat people better and show that i appreciate and care but now, he treated me the same way that i used to be.. it hurts so bad but what can i do.. tell me.. nothing can change him i know..

G. says he always busy.. fine.. i try to be reasonable.. i try to understand.. i try to be in his position.. but never in one day, he search for me.. did he ever do that?? no.. for what i try so hard to do all this when he just do nothing.. i try so hard not to be a nuisance to him.. not to be irratating.. not to so stubborn.. not to change him.. not to be the person that i used to be.. for what i'm doing all this.. its because i care.. i treasure.. i love him.. this always motivates me not to be sad for the things that he had done to me.. the purpose of me doing all this.. but i just want him to show that he care.. thats my greatest wish.. thats all.. i dont mind he likes other girl besides me.. i dont mind if he change his attitude towards me.. i know i dont want him to change to be someone his not.. but nothings seems to change the situation no matter what i do.. or is it i think too much of all this.. haiz..

been keeping this thing for quite a long time.. i wish you were like last time.. where you still not that important in my life.. where you show you care.. haiz.. wanna end here.. this thing make me no mood to blog anymore.. ciaoz.. gud nite!

If Only You Know
12:30 PM

yup.. come blogging today since i'm bored.. hahax.. =).. reach home 6.20 pm just now.. waited for you.. actually i wanted to go home with shuk, moonz, kenz and ak earlier but since i told you that i will wait for you, i just cant go back with my words.. so they just went home without me.. =(.. but i saw them went back to school when i and G. was searching for you.. hahax.. strange.. so i went home with 8 guys.. hahax.. moonz, kenz, shuk, you, zuz, G., ji and sak.. hahax.. i was the only girl there.. i was so lucky to be surrounded by 8 guys.. wee.. =)

i was the EXTRA one when G. and shan was "ROMANCING".. hahax.. i was the so called LIGHT-BULB.. actually taking my english oral today but postpone it again to next week.. hahax.. phew.. i was so stress up today that i even mistaken that i told izan that i got punishment for PA when i actually told shuk.. see what i mean when my life is in the mess.. AARG!! taking my malay oral tommorrow.. good luck to me.. i'm totally sucks at oral.. oh god.. hopefully the conversation and picture is easy.. HOPEFULLY!!

exam is coming in 35 days time.. my class is doing the countdown and i havent even start any of my revision.. can i make with this limited time.. haiz.. i'm really out of control with my life.. punisment, oral, exam, tests, duty and lots more.. can i cope with all this.. haiz..

wanna end here.. i dont want to keep on blabbing.. so ciaoz.. GUD NITE TO EVERYONE!!!

If Only You Know
11:40 AM

been long that i didnt update here.. i'm gonna make a official that i will always update here every 2 days so that i got more stories to tell you people.. hahax..

next week, my school having the cross-country.. AAARGG!!! i'm not gonna run.. i'm just lazy.. i dont care.. the event gonna be held at east coast.. my class having picnic after that.. cool.. but dont know whether i should go there or go back to my primary school to see my old friends.. i missed them but i know its gonna be fun when to picnic with my class.. oh god.. where should i go.. i'm in dilemma..

my exam results are out.. i failed three subject.. and one of them is ENGLISH.. hahax.. first time, failed english.. feel sad actually.. but the others subject which i didnt failed i get either A2 or B3.. hahax.. not bad.. but who cares about it when your english failed rite? haiz.. never mind.. i know i can do better during the end-of-the-year.. wee..

actually today i'm having a revision with adek shuk and the other guys but too bad, i'm tired for the whole day.. hahax.. so decided to go home earlier with nura and not wating to wait for you since you has something on after that till ard 5..

saw xiu hong at the bus-stop so went home with her.. talk about our primary school friends.. alwyn.. wei long.. hui wen.. nabilah.. norainni and lots more.. YOU ALL JUST ROCKS MY LIFE!!

aniway, i wanna end here.. wanna eat my lunch.. my stomach grubbling for food already.. hahax.. ciaoz.. have a gud dae to all!!

If Only You Know
6:35 AM

hate that someone.. very damn irritating.. but i got to be patient i know.. haiz.. as long as i hangout with them, i got to be cool.. lost temper twice at school just because of him.. what to do.. haiz.. things that i wanna change about myself is to just be patient.. dont wanna lose my temper for just the slightest things that people do.. dont wanna take things so seriously.. to be committed to my studies.. haiz.. alot of things i wanna change but can i??.. i know i can.. i just need more time for now.. haiz..

saw him at least thrice at school.. why the moment i really wanna forget him, all the past flow back to me.. WHY!!! haiz.. dont want to talk alot of this matter.. not that important anymore..

i cried just now.. due to SOMETHING.. it is so hurtful.. but still, i just dont want to let people know what actually happen.. i will never tell anyone.. i will keep this to myself till i really cannot stand it.. haiz.. i dont know what i can do.. i dont know what i can say.. haiz..

wanna end here.. feeling so depressed.. sad.. guilty.. regretful.. haiz.. Gud Nite to all!!!

If Only You Know
12:20 PM

getting frustrated with some peoples' blog.. i mean we need to put a password before we can enter theirs' blog.. wtf is that.. if we doesnt know them that well and we dont know their password then how? tell me.. i mean its like cool and all stuff that it is some kind like locked and you cant open it without the password or the number combination but it is so freaking irritating if you got an error cause all the password you enter is wrong..it is better off deleting the blog cause no one except for your good friends or close friends could see it.. i mean if its so TOP SECRET then dont write in here.. blog is for like people to see who are you in the inside, what is your personality and get to know more about you and etc and if you're doing this then what can i say..

my advice to those who is doing this kind of stuff is go buy a diary and write in there.. atleast no one would see it unless for your family members.. and you can show it to your friends if you want to.. its more secure this way.. no offence.. just expressing my thoughts here..

left 41 more days to exam.. and i still havent start any of my revision to tell you the truth.. i know i wanna make it and do well this time but i'm like lazy to write all the notes in one of my notebook.. but i still have the spirit to do.. well, maybe gonna start this afternoon..

honestly, i'm bored right.. i got no idea to write.. hm.. i think i should just write abit about my personal stuff.. yesterday, one of my ex told me that i really need time to really forget IT and i still care.. but i'm wondering why i acting like this?? hm.. strange.. i know I DONT LIKE *HIM!!! die-die also.. i still dont like *him.. haiz.. i dont want to elaborate more on this.. later the whole WORLD know about my ever deepest secret.. hahax.. =)..

ending here.. wanna eat my breakfast.. i'm so damn hungry.. hopefully, my mum is done with her cooking.. so ciaoz.. have a good day todae!!

If Only You Know
11:00 PM

sowie that i didnt update here for a few days already.. i'm just plainly lazy to blog.. =).. nothing bad happen to me this week.. been feeling stress cause i'm like way back behind time with hwk and all stuff..

aniway, i just wake up from my beauty sleep.. been sleeping for about 2 hrs.. hahax.. =).. feeling so tired since yesterday.. i dont know why i got the urge to sleep in the evening.. they just rocks my life.. hahax.. =)

going home around 4.10pm with you.. =).. find out something that tickles me.. hahax.. have been forcing you to tell me about it since yesterday but you just didnt want to tell me.. hahax.. pity you though.. never mind.. drink alot of MILK and you can grow taller than me.. hahax.. =P.. i know i should stop my nonsense here.. dont want to disturb you anymore.. later you are angry with me, more problems will arise between me and you.. i dont want that to happen to us ANYMORE.. =)

maybe going home with sumedhaa tommorrow.. still not sure.. i told myself that i dont want to go home with you cause i got to wait for so long..i dont want to waste my time just like that.. hahax.. =P.. i know i'm cruel.. hahax.. =)

didnt wantch the charlie and the chocolate factory yesterdae.. I"M TERRIBLY SAD!! my sister didnt call me even.. she so cruel.. hopefully she postphone it to this saturday.. i just hoping.. hahax.. =).. ending here.. nothing to blog anymore.. ciaoz.. gud nite to all!!

If Only You Know
10:55 AM

reach home late again.. play capt. ball with them again.. they told me i'm gonna be addicted to this game if i carry on hanging out with them.. and i will say.. NEVER!!.. hahax.. see my mood actually.. if got mood then i play.. but starting from tommorrow, i promise myself not to play anymore.. i wanna start the revision.. still havent start.. i'm dead!!

tommorrow, got lit. test.. haiz.. wanna score well here cause my last test, i FAILED.. even though i didnt get my paper yet, san li tan told us ONLY one person passed in our class and passed with 13/25.. how pathetic is that.. X).. it will be miracle if the person is me.. hahax.. i thank god if i were the one.. hahax.. XD..

wanna start my science revision first cause i cant bear to see my science grade to be the lowest again.. if not, i'm gonna be in 3e3 next year.. no offence to those who used to be in this class or you're in this class right now but i promise that i will never go that class.. NEVER!! die-die i just dont want to go.. dont ask me why.. i just dont want to go k.. understand or not.. stop asking me alot of question can.. you're irritate me right now.. still dont want to stop.. i really getting angry right now.. stop it before i say this.. AARG!!! i hate you.. HMPH! hahax.. XD.. LAME!!

well, i gtg now.. wanna do my revision and do my HE hwk.. still havent do.. need to pass up by tommorrow.. nid to bring apron.. hopefully i dont FORGET it again.. so ciaoz everyone.. have a early rest todae..

If Only You Know
12:00 PM

change my skin.. i love the figures.. it so darnly cute.. X).. started to like them eversince i used one of cl*ra blogskins she make.. but you got to wait for a few minutes for it to load all the stuff in the skin.. but it is still worth your every min. waiting right.. hahax.. =)

actually i dont really like the song i put.. it is one of my twin bro top ten fav. song hit-list.. i put it here cause it suit the skin even more better..

tomorrow, school starting again.. oh bored.. got PE.. haiz.. found my lit. book at last.. search for it everywhere but i just couldnt find it.. then i found it in my story-books shelf.. hahax.. how dumb can i be.. XD..

on wednesdae, going to watch the charlie and the chocolate factory with my sister and her daughter.. going to watch at Orchard.. her treat.. hahax.. so nice of her.. unfortunately, i watching it after school so i gotta rush from school and meet her at Orchard Mrt station but still havent confirm where and what time to meet yet..

aniwae i couldnt go home with you on wednesdae cause you gotta go somewhere after school too right.. so thats mean i cant go home with you.. haiz.. but never mind, there's always next time k..

wanna end here.. sharin wanna use the comp.. so ciaoz everyone.. and have a gud dae todae...

If Only You Know
7:20 AM

just reach home from my sister's hse.. celebrating her daughter's birthday just now.. i'm bored there.. nothing to do.. so i msg shuk and we msg for abt 2 hours and he gtg somewhere.. haiz.. talk about ALOT of personal stuff esp. abt relationship.. hahax.. he such a great guy to talk to about this kind of matters.. he's so pro and understanding.. =).. he is so secretive with his personal life that i bet you there's something he hides from all his friends..
















in the morning, went fort serapong at Sentosa.. fun but tiring.. got alot of insects but i'm not afraid of them.. =).. and my favourite converse shoe is dirty to do the soil that we walk.. AARG! only got 3 malay students in the guide.. how pathethis is this.. =X.. went there by bus.. i'm like so quiet and sit alone while hearing the dicsman inside the bus.. cause i got no one to talk to.. inside the bus, li ching's and the groups started to sing all the nonsense song.. XD.. they sang "my love", "where i belong"," home", some chinse songs and lots more.. i just couldnt remember them all.. i didnt know alot of the sec 3 students there.. i felt so odd.. =(

reach the sentosa then took yellow line bus.. alight the 3rd or 4th bus stop and took a break before starting the 3 hour journey.. first, we have to walk 1 km of a road.. me, jesslyn and jia en or so called "the famous three".. hahax.. XD.. we were in between with the sec 3 group with ms kam and in between with the sec 2 with mr tan.. we couldnt catch up with mr tan group cause they are too fast neither with ms kam group cause they are too slow so we end up with each other.. we were bored along the way so decided to sing a NPCC song.. hahax.. we're lame i know..

reach at the bottom of the hill, mr tan give us a briefing before we took a hike at it.. went up the hill was tiring.. its like you climbing up the stairs to 8 level storey.. can you imagine that.. i know i'm exaggerating.. we went inside the "secondary jungle".. it was cooling for awhile.. got scratches from the plants roots and ants bite or mosquitoes bite even though i put the insect repellent twice.. oh ya.. forgotten to give back li ching insect repellent and her medicated oil.. sowie.. i forgotten.. =(..





got 4 part at this journey that would never make me forget this whole thing.. it was either funny or just plainly nice..

firstly, we went up the hill so that we would see where 80 killed people were buried onto this island last time.. but now, the island turned out to be a golf course and we cant go there.. then during that time, there's some tai-tai man playing golf so i kept telling hl and yh that maybe they are handsome and i want their number [kidding here].. i cant see the man face clearly so hl took a binocular [mr tan one's] and zoom on the man and she said he is a apek.. hahax..
LAME!

secondly, we went this place which you sould see the other island out of singapore.. you can even see indonesia.. how cool is that.. =).. there's a cement ground due to some reason [i'm not telling] and we were allowed to take a break for 15 mins.. the place has a nice scenery.. X)

thirdly, we went to some tunnel where there's alot of tree roots sticking out.. and it was so dark.. i mean "VERY DARK".. regretted not to bring torchlight today.. behind me was hl.. we need to make a u-turn after he had a look of something [secret..] so that the others could see them too.. nearer the entrance door, suddenly hl was about to trip over and she held my shoulder so tight that i sreamed so loud.. and i heard nisa said this.. "NICE SOUND EFFECT".. hahax.. thanks.. XD.. i was shocked actually..

lastly, i and jia talked about horoscope andtheir each characteristic during the forest trail.. and stephanie interrupted us and asked me.. "taurus how then".. then i tell her later cause i need to reflect on my character.. and we talked about 15 mins and i and jia en stopped talking about it because we are inside the woods and i'm tired of talking too much.. =(.. but unfortunely, stephanie hasnt.. instead she talked with the sec 3 student about the same thing we talked.. jia en and me kept saying this.. "stephanie get infected by us.." hahax.. XD..













then went back skool as the same way we went sentosa with.. inside the bus li ching group sang again.. haiz.. have to tolerate with them esp. her.. hahax.. X).. i wanna sleep.. i'm tired.. these eyes are forcing me to sleep.. cant take it anymore.. bye-bye.. gud nitex to everyone!

If Only You Know
2:30 PM

i got a slight fever.. oh god.. suddenly got it when i woke up from my beauty sleep.. get infected my twin bro.. aarg!!












went home at 4 pm with iqbar, ilham and mahzuz.. been worrying about two things since the end of school.. haiz.. doubting alot of things due to them.. haiz.. dont want to talk about it..












tommorrow going to Sentosa then going to my sis house to celebrate my niece birthday.. i'm just lazy to go to both of them but luckily, i've done my hwk just now.. wee..













wanna end here.. i'm bored and i got nothing to say here.. so GUD NITE TO ALL PEEPS!!

If Only You Know
11:15 AM

i cant believe that i've been posting 94 post.. =).. cant blame me that i like to express my feelings out here and to keep me from dying of the bored-ness of this world.. =)














cant do my OUTSTANDING maths hwk due to that i left it behind at adek shuk classroom.. forgotten to put it inside my bag.. how dumb am i.. =).. cant do my history hwk too cause i left it under my desk.. haiz.. so i'm bored right now.. cant do anything about it.. haiz..













i found out something about *you.. which makes me real mad.. YOU LIED TO ME!! but i just dont care about it anymore.. dont want to waste my anger on *you.. its all in the past now.. i should just leave it and live my life the way i should be.. *you're nothing to me anymore.. just A someone from the past.. you sucks i know.. this time, this words that i gonna say really comes deeply from my heart that how could i be so blind to let you in into my life..












i dont know whether to believe *you or the ones who have been THERE for me.. i really dont know.. but one thing for sure, i may REGRET talking to *you... knowing *you better... letting *you in into my life.. liking *you more each day by day.. given me those HIGH hopes on us.. holding my hands.. controlling my life.. making me cry for *you.. telling me all those lies.. but i told myself that i wont regret on things that ONCE makes me smile.. never will i..












went home late today.. played captain's ball with the 2e1 pupils.. pushed him down.. hahax.. =).. i'm cruel i know.. sorry if i pushed you so hard.. no offence.. gonaa end here.. i'm bored of writing this post.. wee.. ciaoz..

If Only You Know
1:15 PM

tommorrow school starting again.. oh god.. i'm gonna be bored.. maths test on chapter 9 & 10.. havent buy the flexible curve nor french curve.. hahax.. =X.. got PA duty tommorrow.. need to come early to school.. but the positive side is i got to see you and hug you as you said that i can hug you all i want.. =)















i'm bored at home.. missing you badly.. thinking of you everytime.. gonna hug you tommorrow.. i dont care.. but i'm wondering when i'm gonna do it.. either i'm doing it in the morning or after school.. hm.. i havent figure it out.. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.. wee.. you so cute.. wee.. honestly, you're the only one who i really love among all those whom i used to be with.. miss your cute voice, your sweet smile and your STUPID laughter.. =X.. i keep on eating, sleeping, watching tv and surfing the net just to stop missing you so badly and thinking about you all the time.. =(.. i'm sorry that i'm being so MUSHY in my post and my board.. i mean i'm totally ADDICTED to him.. and all this bored-ness is making me crazy.. and making me think of him constantly.. cant blame me tho.. =).. regretted not to ask you out.. i forgotten to ask you about it yesterday night.. haiz..















feeling guilty after reading someone's blog.. how could i just leave *him like that.. i mean *his important exam is coming.. and i'm doing this to him? i know i shouldnt be feeling this way but i just cant stop worrying about it.. reminded me about the past memories when i'm with *him.. haiz.. another 17 more days, we were SUPPOSEDLY to be together for 1 year but i just wasted it just like that.. why am i feeling this way when i know my feelings for *him is not there anymore.. i just dont know why.. can anyonge give me an answer? i should be happy that i let *him go.. but instead i regretting it.. i hate regretting on the things that i do but the guilt just dont seems to go away.. i wanna start a brand new me but i seems not to let go of the past.. dont want to keep blabbing about *him no more.. making me crying for just no reason..













i dont know whether i got any hwk.. i mean these two days, i'm like chilling out at home and doing nothing useful to me.. gonna end here.. i have enough of writing this post for today.. so ciaoz peeps..

If Only You Know
6:05 AM

i'm in love with this song.. the song is sung by sheila on 7.. remind me of that *SOMEONE.. haiz.. so nice.. the lyrics very meaningful.. wee.. so sweet.. putting the lyrics here and i'm gonna translate the lyrics for non-malays.. to all the peeps that been heartbroken before.. so ciaoz..



Dan

Dan
Bila esok datang kembali
Seperti sedia kala
Di mana kau bisa bercanda

Dan
Perlahan kau pun
Lupakan aku mimpi buruk mu
Dimana telah ku tancapkan duri tajam
Kau pun menangis menangis sedih
Maafkan aku

Dan
Bukan maksud ku
Bukan ingin ku melukaimu
Sedarkah kau di siniku pun terluka
Melupakanmu menepikanmu
Maafkan aku

Chorus
Lupakanlah saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulukala
Caci-maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulukala

Dan
Bukan maksud ku
Bukan ingin ku melukaimu
Sedarkah kau di siniku pun terluka
Melupakanmu menepikanmu
Maafkan aku

Chorus x2
Lupakanlah saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulukala
Caci-maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulukala

AND

And
When tommorrow comes once again,
Like from time to time,
Where you can just joke

And
Slowly you will
Forget me, your worst nightmare
Where i've been embed sharp thorns
You have cried, sadly cry
Forgive me

And
its not my intention
its not that i want to hurt you
Are you aware that i'm also in pain here
Trying to forget you, Trying to put you a side
Forgive me

Chorus
Just forget me
if that gonna helps you
To shine once again
and to glow like in the past
Just scorn and scold me
if that gonna helps you
To shine once again
and to glow like in the past

And
its not my intention
its not that i want to hurt you
Are you aware that i'm also in pain here
Trying to forget you, Trying to put you a side
Forgive me

Chorusx2
Just forget me
if that gonna helps you
To shine once again
and to glow like in the past
Just scorn and scold me
if that gonna helps you
To shine once again
and to glow like in the past

If Only You Know
11:10 PM

wee.. went home early cause he was tired and dont want to go his "something" after school since kamsani didnt go.. lazy guy.. later teacher scold, i dont know.. he won.. wee.. i'm so HAPPY for him.. i was screaming all the way when they called his "name", kamsani and chiok weh too.. =)














i dont love that *someone anymore.. really.. i just miss *his presence.. but that doesnt mean i still love *him cause its you that i really love.. believe me.. maybe you believe me when i said it just now at school but just to confirm it with you, I REALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.. =)












i'm tired but i just cant sleep.. gonna miss you so much these two days of holiday.. wee.. you so cute.. really so cute.. wee.. ending here.. nothing to say.. have a gud dae today.. bye-bye.. tata everyone.. =)

If Only You Know
6:30 AM

wee.. just wake up from my beauty sleep.. once i woke up from my sleep when i saw no one was using the comp, i attacked it first so that i wont need to wait for anyone to finish using it and now my bro is waiting for me to finsh use it.. wee.. I"M SO CRUEL..










ard the afternoon, i went out with him, abg izan, adik shuk and adik moonz to go to mahzuz the sister "persandingan".. i was earlier than the rest of them actually cause i reached the bus-stop at 12.30pm sharp where the geylang methodist students always stops at.. but i didnt saw mahzuz and nasrul (his cousin) nor the other guys there so i walked to the other bus-stop where i usually stop when i go to skool everyday cause i thought that maybe they were waiting for me over there.. when i didnt saw them there also, i decide to call him instead of anyone else by using the phone of one minimart nearby cause he is the only person hp number that i remembered... hahax.. =) they all like asking me where am i.. and i LIED to him that i'm just going out from my house and it will took me 5 mins to reach there.. actually, its usually will took me 10 mins to reach that bus-stop.. since i dont want to "paisey" myself so i just lied.. =p









whatever about that.. went home ALONE again.. i realized that *someone is far more better than him.. i know i will never admit this no matter how many times a person try to force me to let it all out but i got to say that it is true that *SOMEONE treated me better than someone i really love right now.. keep thinking that i regretted letting *him go.. i know i'm just being STUPID to think that way.. dont want to talk about *him.. i know that i'm not important in *his life anymore.. so i better dont keep on blabbing about *him..









aniway, i got to walk like ard 5 mins to reach the bus-stop to just to go home.. see how far i need to walk.. unfortunely, i'm wearing high heels.. oh ya.. saw one girl which i'm still hating at the "persandingan".. eeee.. i hate her.. aniway, i've decided not to go the escape with the PA.. and not going to my class outing cause i'm BROKE right now.. hahax.. =(.. and i've been giving them excuses that i need to go somewhere after the consert when actually, i'm going to wait for him cause he got something on for tommorrow after the consert.. i PROMISED that i will go to the next year the graduating sec 4 with the PA since i also didnt go last year.. how pathetic am i.. =)







ending here.. i got nothing to say.. wee.. gud evening to all.. and have a good mondae to the peeps tomorrow.. =)

If Only You Know
9:05 AM

I'M HAPPY!! he accepted my love for him at last.. been waiting for him since last week.. but it feels like one month.. accepted me into his life today at 10.16 pm.. one minute, he is my friend.. my close friend.. my god-bro.. and now, i'm in love with him.. =)






it been so fast that i've known him for more than a year.. i remember those times where i didnt know him yet.. my parents and his parent is talking to each other first day of school.. and my mum thought that he was in my class but i told that he is in my brother class.. not me.. maybe he couldnt rememeber this.. but i still keep that in my mind..






i was specially close to him this year due to last year where we went hari raya together with adik moonz and abang izan.. and nabillah bring her younger sister... and her sister was in love with him.. we keep on teasing him cause her sister always wanted to be with him .. hahahax.. =)






feeling tired right now.. keep on forcing myself not to sleep first.. reach home ard 6.30 pm.. actually wanted to wait for him but i just lazy to stay back for an extra 30 mins.. helping mr lim with the conservation area and mr tan with the speech day thingy.. I'M TIRED! so gud nite to all peeps!

If Only You Know
2:40 PM

i'm tired.. reach home at about 7.30 pm due to mrs rathi complain.. actually, she's not happy with the mc and the whole lot of pa crew had to stay back.. is it fair for us?? nope.. when mr lim says thank you to me and hongling for everything, i was rushing back to the control room to take my bag and say bye-bye to zhen lin when i was running out of the room and LIED to him that i need to go back.. hahahax.. =X.. been thinking whether should i go to escape theme park with the PA crews cause i'm just lazy to go.. but i told hongling, i'm going.. still haven make up my mind..




so i didnt went home with him today.. i'm sad.. terribly SAD.. wanted to cry actually.. how silly am i.. =p.. he cant wait for me any longer so i told him to go home without me.. but luckily, i went home ashraf.. at least got an accompany to go with.. haiz.. tomorrow, he got ncc and i cant wait for him cause i need to wait for about 4 hrs for his dismissal.. i kept thinking on my way back home just now.. shall i wait for him tomorrow or just went home without him.. er.. i dont know.. see how the situation first..




i failed my ENGLISH..i was expecting it cause i was feeling sleepy when i'm doing the test last time.. hahahax.. he also failed.. but i below him by 1 mark.. hahahax.. wee.. he so cute.. pass my maths, malay and i'm happy with my science marks.. i got 30/40.. i was shocked.. hahahax.. i'm proud of myself for those effort that i put except for english.. hahahax.. =)



ending here.. tomorrow got english test.. mrs leong wanted us to pass our english.. at least get a B3 grade.. so she doing this to improve our marks.. hahahax.. thanks teacher for everything.. =).. wee.. gud nite to all the peeps!

If Only You Know
11:45 AM

I HATE YOU SO MUCH.. i dont know why in the first place i wanna get involved with you.. you think i'm the joke of your life.. call me names.. making me believe with ALL your lies.. and i'm still here just be patient with your attitude.. and now.. what had happen.. you STILL in love with HER.. where are those words you told me.. the hopes you gave me.. the memories that can never be replaced.. dont tell me its all go down to waste just like that.. is all this a play that you've been playing cause i dont find it entertaining at all.. i've cried so much for just STUPID things.. STUPID reasons.. STUPID excuses.. STUPID LIES! and its all because of YOU!! it spoilts my mood for the whole day today just because of this.. is it fair for treating me this way..i keep on blaming things on myself.. keep telling myself that i got to accept all this just because i've let go of you..










thanks to ashraf for telling me the truth or else i'll be in the dark, knowing nothing and being a FOOL to you all along.. went home with akasha.. omg.. he so cute and so lame.. wee.. end here.. nothing to say.. GUD NITE TO ALL!

If Only You Know
12:40 PM

i'm just lazy to blog.. went home with haiqal.. oh god.. he's so cute.. i love you.. wee..







he smile to me just now when i'm going to recess.. i asking you to just give up on me.. i wont be to what i used to be.. i promised myself that after i broke up with you i wont go back.. go back to the past where there are memories which i used to pretend so much.. keep forcing myself to just be happy with your decision.. there's not going to be "WE" and "US" anymore.. we will always be "I" and "YOU" from today onwards.. i'm sick of making guys control my life.. i hate of crying so much where no one tresure me.. i feel so tired of making the same mistake i make.. i just wanna make my life more pleasant living..






wee.. gonna end here.. i'm bored.. good nite to all the peeps!!

If Only You Know
11:20 AM