hI.. yEsTeRdaY iS oNe oF mY saDdesT Day.. He sAyS i'M tOo cHidIsH!! wtF!! gOrT oNe tiMe i sMs hiM, aSk hiM wHy He LiKes Me tHeN He saId tHaT He LiKeS Me bEcOz He FiNd Me cUtE aNd LasT tiMe He tHougHt tHaT wE wiLl GeT aLoNg eaSiLy BuT tHe MorE He kNoE mE, tHe HarDeR tO gEt aLoNg.. tHeN hE aSk Me, wHy i sHo eAsiLly aCcepT HiM tHeN i saId tHe FeeLiNg coMeS tHeN i FiNd hiM oK LoR.. tHeN He sMs tHiS LeH.. sO HurtiNg.. "i tHiNk NeitHer oF uS iS sEriOusLy aBt tHiS reLaTioNsHip.. yOo tHiNk sO??" wHaT iS tHis!!! wE bEeN tOgEtHer fOr a Few MontHs tHeN nOw, yOo saId aLl tHiS.. No uSe!! aNd Of cOurSe, i'M a gaL wHo aLwAys HidE HeR rEaL FeeLiNg wOuLd sMs hiM ThiS BaCk "yUp.. aNd wHy iN tHe FirsT pLaCe, wHy yOo sTeaD witH mE??" HaiZ.. tHeN hE bLaMe HiMseLf fOr waT HaD HappeNed.. dOeS He kNoE tHaT bEcOz oF HiM, i tRy tO ForgEt mY cRusH beFoRe LiKiNg hiM.. tHeN i tRy tO cHaNgE FoR tHe BeTtEr bEcOz oF hiM.. cUtE-cUtE(HaiqaL) aSk Me tO bReaK uP witH hiM bUt i saId tHis tO hiM.. "i KnOe i wiLl HurT agaiN bUt He iS wOrtH tHe paiN.." Haiz.. i doNe sO MucH fOr hiM.. sTiLl He dO tHiS tO mE.. i HaVe NeVeR aSk yOo aNitHiNg..[[aNitHiNg!!]] mY FreNdz aSk Me tO bReaK uP witH yOo bUt stiLl, i jUsT igNorEd tHeM.. i'M siCk BeiNg LiKe tHis!! i HaTe iT!! iF yOo doN LikE mE, jUsT saId iT!! doN LeT My HeaRt gEt HurT agaiN aNd agaiN.. i suFfeReD aLoT wHeN i'M witH yOo.. bUt yOo sTiLl.. Haiz.. nO uSe oF sAyiNg aLL tHis.. yOo woNt uNdErsTaNd aLso.. i waNna gIb uP oN yOo.. bUt.. i reaLLi LovE yOo... HaiZ.. i doN kNoE waT tO dO!! iF mY LiFe gOiNg tO coNtiNuE LiKe tHis, i'M gOiNg tO bE saD aLL tHe tiMe.. mE waNna eNd HeRe.. wRitiNg tHis thiNg HaVe MaKe Me cRy.. aNd i waNNa eaT mY bReakFaSt.. bYe.. xx-sigNiNg oFf; hUrTiNg HeaRt-xx
1:11 AM
heLLo!!coMe aNd upDaTe HeRe siNcE i gOt NotHiNg bEttEr tO dO!! HaHaHax.. yEsTeRdaY, rEacH hoMe aRd 11 pM.. sO LaTe HoR.. weNt hoMe witH My Bf.. LuCkiLy, tHe gUy wHo LikEs Me dOesNt coMe tO tHe baNd coNcErT oR eLsE i diE LiaO iF mY bF saW Me coMe tO tHe coNceRt witH hiM.. i waS HaviNg sO MuCh FuN dUriNg tHe coNceRt.. NoT bEcOz oF tHe baNd.. iT bEcOz oF aKasHa wHo iS cUtE-cUtE(HaiqaL) cOusiN MadE Me LaugH sO MucH.. uNtiL i caNnOt taKe iT.. He's sO LaMe.. aNd He'S cUtE tOo!! :).. sAw My eX bF aNd mY ex cRusH aT tHeRe.. bOtH weaR piNk t-sHirT.. Haiz... wE aLl MaKe sO MucH NoiSe aNd iT waS FuN.. HAHaHax.. i hOpE nExT yEr,gOt tHe coNcErT aNd iF aKasHa gO, i wiLl gO cUz hE's sO LaMe aNd vErI FunNi.. HaIz.. yEsTeRdAy, i weNt hOMe tAKe MrT tHeN bUs.. mE aNd hiM waIt fOr tHe EasT-wEsT LiNe MrT tHeN vErI cRowDeD LiAo tHeN wE dEcIdEd tO taKe NortH-eaSt LiNe MrT tHeN sToP aT bOoN KeNg tHeN taKe bUs frM tHeRe.. i kNoE wE waStiNg oUr tiMe bUt aT LeaSt tHe NortH easT LiNe MrT nOrT tHaT cRowDeD.. bY tHe tiMe, mE aT bOoN keNg bUs-sTop, iTs aBt 10.15 pM.. tHeN My FatHeR Hp baTt. wEaK tHeN caNnoT caLL mY hOusE.. sO tIrEd LoR.. ThE COmMOn TeSt Is coMiNg.. mE nId tO reViSe mY wOrK LiaO.. HaIz.. tHiS tiMe, i waNt tO taKe tHe TesT sErIousLy.. nOrT LiKe LaSt yEr, oNLi LaSt miNuTe tHeN sTuDy.. oK LaH.. mE gOtTa gO.. HopE tO sEe yOo gUyS sOoN.. TaTa!!
6:34 AM
jUx FiNsH eaT FiNisH My diNneR.. sO TirEd.. jUx nOw, gOt MatHs reMediaL tHeN gO hoMe wItH hiM LoR.. HaIz.. tOdAy wE sTeaD FoR FivE MontHs.. sO HappI!! eveN tHougH He doN reMeMbEr bUt i doN MiNd iT aT aLL.. Haiz.. tOmOroW gOt coNcerT baNd tHeN mE waTcHiNg iT LoR witH MuNir,syUk,HaiqaL aNd NabiLlaH!! i reaLli HoPe tHaT HaFizHaN bUt tOO baD, He caNt gO cUz NpCc FiNisH aT 6.30 pM tHeN nO tiMe Lor.. Haiz.. He doN gO coNceRt toMoRroW LiaO.. sO sIaN.. tHe coNcErT sTarT aT 7.30pM tHeN eNd aT aBt 9.00.. waH sO LaTe LoR.. HaIz.. gOt a gUy LiKe mE LiaO.. Haiz.. tOo baD, i gOt soMeoNe aLreaDi LoR tHeN i reaLLi LuRvE mY bF.. aNd i'M FaitHfuL tO oNe.. Haiz.. dOn kNoe wHetHeR tHis reLaTioNsHip wiLl LasT oR nOt.. bUt i HoPe sO.. mE goNna bE vErI saD iF i aNd HiM wiLl bRk uP oNe dAy.. tHaTs aLl FoR tOdaY.. mE waNna dO hMwK!! sTiLl HaBeN dO bUt tHeN, mE sO tiReD!! HaiZ.. bYe-bYe..xxMuaCkxx
10:22 AM
FiNaLli FiNd tHis soNg.. vErI MeaNiNgfuL tHe LyriCs!!! gEeK!! i reaLli LurVe tHiS soNg tO tHe cOrE!! aNiwAy, tHiS soNg iS iDoNesIaN soNg bY sHeiLa oN 7 NaMed bErHeNti bErHaraP oR eNd oF HopiNg .. Haiz.. mE aNd hiM oK LaH.. baCk tO NorMaL aLreaDi.. He weNt hoMe aT aBt 3.50pM tOdAy.. mE gO hoMe aBt 6 pM cUz gOt aVa MeetiNg.. yA.. yA.. i kNoE aVa cLuB iS LaMe aNd BoriNg bUt waTeVeR!! aNiwAy, doN nOe wHy He sTaY bAcK FoR.. NotHiNg bEttEr tO dO i tHiNk.. HaHaHax.. Haiz.. tOMorOw hE goNna weNt tO tOurNaMeNt.. Haiz.. caNnoT gO hoMe witH hiM tHeN MayBe Me gO hoMe witH siStErr.. BefOrE i eNd i wrItE tHe LyriCs oF tHe soNg iN eNgLisH... mIss yOo dEaR!! bYe-bYe eVeryoNe!!
-*eNd oF HopiNg*-
i doN beLieVe iT aNyMoRe,
wiTh wHaT yOo giB,
i sTraNd aT HeRe,
iN tHe cOrNeR, waItiNg FoR dYiNg
i doN beLieVe iT aNyMoRe,
aBt tHe suN risiNg,
wiTh tHe hOpE tO LigHt,
tHe dArkNesS oF tHis HeaRt
i'vE eNd My hOpE,
aNd waIt fOr tHe darkNeSs,
uNtiL eVeRy MiNuTe oF tHe tiMe,
i wiLl NoT geT aNy LuRvE
wHy tHeRe's a FeeL oF paiN
wHeN HappINeSs hAs cReaTe
wHy tHeRe's sTiLL paiN
wHeN tHe FeeLiNg oF reLieVe iS FadiNg
Chorus:
i coMe baCk
witHouT gRudgEs
i aCcePt mY deFeaT
i coMe baCk
witHouT gRudgEs
i reSpecT yOuR viCtOrY
bRiDgE:
u TeacH Me waT iS HappiNeSs
u TeacH Me waT iS sUfFeriNg
u sHow Me waT iS HappiNeSs
u sHow Me waT iS sUfFeriNg
u giB Me HappiNeSs
u gIb Me sUfFeriNg
2:48 PM
mE LiaO tOdaY VerI saD.. Haiz.. i diD bAdLy fOr mY MatHs tEsT aNd mY tEacHeR aSk mE tO reVisE aBt iT.. Haiz.. tHeN hE askiNg mE tO cHaNgE iN soMe oF mY beHaviOuR.. Haiz.. "doN bEe tOo sHy, doN bEe tOo FierCe aNd doN aCt LiKe yOo doN caRe wHeN i'M aRd yOo".. HaiZ.. tHaT oNe i sUmMariSe tHe wOrDs LaH.. reaLli He sAys diFfeReNt tHiNg aT dIffEreNt DaY.. hAiz.. mE uNdEr aLoT oF pRessUrE.. weLL, mE nOt LaH bUt i fEeL LikE.. i nEvEr aSk yOo tO cHaNgE fOr Me cUz i LiKe yOo tHe waY yOu aRe.. aNd wHy caNt yOo accePt mE tHe waY i aM wHeN tHe reaL tHiNg iS tHaT yOu'rE tHe oNe wHo LiKe mE FirsT.. i coNfuSed!!! i kNoE yOu oNLi aSk mE tO cHaNgE aBiT bUt tO mE iS a bIg DiffEreNcE bEtweeN wHo i reaLli aM aNd a pErsoN tHaT i caNnoT bE.. aNd i vErI sAd LoR.. HaiZ.. iT iS bEcOz yOuR pareNt hAvE a HigH eXpecTaTioN oF yOo tHaTs wHy yOu aRe sO deMaNdiNg.. i trY tO cHaNgE bUt i doN nOe wHetHer i'M iMprOviNg oR sTiLl tHe saMe.. mE fEeL LiKe waNna bRk uP fOr tHe bEsT oF uS bUt... i stiLl LikE yOo.. aNd i waNna LeT tHiS reLaTioNsHip LasT qUiTe LoNg.. hOw LeH?? Me ReaLli tHiNk aHeaD LoR.. LaTer yOo goiNg jC oR poLy, tHeN mE hOw?? jUsT waIt uNtiL i gRadUaTe is iT.. tHaTs sO LoNg.. iT aBt 2 yErs frM Now.. aNd bY tHaT tiMe, yOo mayBe fiNd soMeoNe New.. Haiz.. daMn sAd.. wHeN i sEe yOuR FaCe, i tHiNk aBt tHiS pRobLeM.. tHaTs wHy i waNt tO aVoiD frM yOo sO tHaT i woNt bE saD.. i pUt oN mY faKe sMiLe jUx tO LeT yOo KnoE i'M haPpI bUt acTuaLly i'M sAd.. u doN kNoE tHaT aNd sTiLl.. yOu tHougHt tHaT i'M tOo sHy oR i'M aVoidiNg yOo.. tHiS soNg tHaT i pUt iN mIe bLog iS HoW i reaLli fEeL wHeN yOu aSk mE tOo cHaNgE.. HaIz.. gOttA eNd.. waNna dO MatHs hMwK.. sEe yA!! mIz yEw!!
10:48 AM
My CoMpuTeR oK LiaO sO caN uPdaTe.. YeaH!!! sO HappI!! aNotHeR 6 MoRe dAys tHeN i aNd hiM 5 MtHs LiaO tOgetHeR.. yEa!! i'M aLL HappI aBt tHiS.. oNe oF mY LoNgEsT LuRvE reLaTioNsHip.. aNiwAy, nOw i kNoe hOw MucH eDucaTioN iS iMpoRtaNt aFtEr MdM tONg(My ForM tEaChER)toLd mIe cLaSs aBT gOiNg Jc aNd poLy.. waH!! daMn coMpLicaTed LoR.. HaiZ.. He's TaKiNg o'LeVeL tHis yEr.. wIsH hiM aLl tHe bEsT wHiLe FoR mE iS sTreaMiN yEr sO haVe tO sTuDy weLL.. mE waNna taKe A MatHs cUz MdM toNg sAys tHaT A MatHs caN briNg yOu FaR tO jC.. sO waNna LeArN.. aNd i haVe tO iMproVe oN mIe eNgLisH aNd maLay.. i HaTe LaNguaNgE tHaTs wHy i'M wEaK aT tHeM.. bEttEr iMprOvE tHeM.. k LaH.. gOt tiMe, uPdaTe MoRe.. sEe yA!! MiSs yOu aLl..
8:31 AM
eLlo!! sO LoNg hAveN upDaTe mIe bLog LiaO.. aLoRT oF tHiNgS iS hAppeNiNg aNd i caNt coNtRoL tHeM aLL.. i nId soMeoNe tO hoLd oN tOo bUt i caNt.. wHeN i'M wiTh "hiM", i fEeL sO LonELy aNd dEpRessEd.. i doN kNoW tHe rEasoN wHy eVeN tHoUgH, i sHuD bE hAppI.. nOw, i fEeL tHaT i'vE cHaNgE qUitE a bIt.. i tRieD tO bE LiKe LaSt tiMe bUt i caNt.. i'M sO sTreSseD aBt aLL oF tHis.. hE caNt heLp mE.. aNd nEitHeR dO mIe fReNdz.. gEeK.. gOttA LeaVe nOw.. i caNt tHiNk aNitHiNg pOsItIvE rItE nOw.. bYe!!
8:45 AM
went out with my family except that sharin and my dad didnt follow us. bought school shoe at bugis. and saw some choir girls, shopping. sorry. didnt know most of their name. then went suntec city. meet up with my sister which of course, she would always be late. then went carrefour. bought the kids some colouring book and stuff. saw this samsung mp3 that i wanted which cost like 200 bucks. begged my mum to buy me that when she get her bonus on chinese new year. and she went like "okay" with a boring face. then went to eat at delifrance. gonna put some pics that i've taken while waiting for the food.
after we ate, we decided to go back to bugis to take cab home as the queue for cabs at suntec was long. so from suntec city, we walked all the way to bugis back. on the way there, we took some time to watch the fountain of wealth.
i wish that someday i could see all these with my sweetie that i really love and watch it together. oh gosh. its so beautiful.
aniway, on the way to the taxi the taxi stand at bugis, saw our school kids which i dont really know them entirely so i dont know most of their name again. sorry. the taxi stand at there was long too so end up taking a bus ride home. and while crossing the road, saw zhen hui and her bf. luckily she never saw me. phew. btw they looked so sweet together. and they spent their time quite alot together so far as i can see. somehow, i envy them cause they are really suitable for each other. well, the more i think about them being together, the more i feel like i wanna have a sweetie on my own. but i know i have to wait quite long for that realli special someone to come to me. sigh.
one more day to school reopen.
more updates later.
10:30 AM