it all ends yesterday
yes, he broke up with me
&& till now, i still cant believe we have broken up

i'm not that sad that i supposed to or should be cause i have expected this to happen. but i didnt think that its gonna happen yesterday. i was holding back my tears during chemistry. i dont blame him entirely as somehow or another, its my fault for the break up so dont come up on me, console me and say he sucks and i deserve someone better cause you just making me feel worst rather than feeling better.

his fault:
i wasnt his top priority. he starting to contact me lesser and lesser ever since a few weeks ago and i've been tolerating this for at least a month. yes. it happened to me again. he is always busy with soccer and neglected me the whole time. he is the one who is always cancelling our plan together and spent most of his time with his friends. he is never there for me when i was down and seriously, if he truly loves me, he would try to save this relationship, instead of ending the "problems" by breaking up with me.

my fault:
maybe its my fault that i didnt show enough concern towards him. i began not to care about the worries i have in the relationship after i thought to myself that he didnt even do anything about it nor he didnt even try to talk about it though somehow, i knew he knew that we are drifted apart. i was spending too much time on my "new friend". yes. i am that bad. such a bad girlfriend. i should have just remain committed to him and all these wont happenned. i was thinking too much for myself that in school, i didnt wish to talk to him. i follow my ego-ness than trying to save this relationship. i should have known better.

my ego:
stop saying that "lets be friends" phrase cause i'm sick of hearing it. i've been making sacrifices more than you did to me, but what did i get in the end, nothing from you. you gonna regret what you did to me cause you doesnt know how to treasure me and someday, your turn will come. i seriously know that i deserve someone better. why should i stick on to a guy who always find me only when he wants me to be there. you are totally immature so dont try to come back to me cause i wont want you by then && you never gonna last long with a girl if you keep on wanting to break up with them so one advice, FUCK OFF.

but deep in my heart, i miss him more than you know it ]:

If Only You Know
6:00 AM