the first thought that came on my mind. how could i dream about him of all guys.

yeah. its true that i dreamt about that fucked up guy and anis have to tell me that she saw him last thursday. she's like saying he's hot. girl, i know it all. but i remembered roughly this conversation that i had with him in my dream just now.

we were holding hands, facing each other while waiting for some friends who i dont even know who, to buy drinks. we were just finish watching elmo playing soccer and he's there to accompany me or something;

me: i thought someone doesnt want to talk to me anymore.
him: no. it's you who doesnt want to talk to me.
me: then why are you holding my hand?
him: cause i just wanna hold your hand. any wrong with that?

then i let go off my hand and told him about me having a bf. soon, i saw elmo and i walked with him. leaving that fucked up guy and the friends behind and thats it.

anyway, the conversation was in malay.

i went into his friendster, just to check his pictures just now. i dont see myself anymore, nearly break down and cry like i used to do, exactly 52 days ago. honestly, i miss hanging out with him. those times where i called him "sepet" and he called me "duck". those late night calls with him. those wake up calls early in the morning i gave him during the holidays. the smell of his perfume when i sniffed his shirt. the one time where we were holding hand and i let go of mine and he asked me why but i just shook my head. the intimate kisses that he gave me. okay. this is too much info for you peeps to take in. wakakaka. XD

i cant wait till i'm 17 cause firstly, i will change the url of my blog which i thought off when i was sec one and its totally not me now. secondly, i wont be using blogger anymore and most probably, i will be using xanga or something like that.

i'll be going out later. meeting elmo. [:
nothing much to say now. off i go.

If Only You Know
8:43 AM