its late at night. gosh. i'm having my moodwings again.

FCUK MOODSWINGS!!!!

why must i think of him, the one that i supposed to hate. its shocking that i really even care about him that i used to thought long ago that i only like him. god. why must the feeling come back to me again. i dont wish to reminisce about it no more. i hurt too much then. way too much.

i've move on. see. i have found my right guy. but do i actually really like that right guy in my heart or is it just that im creating an illusion for everyone to see that i no longer care about him or he meant nothing to me anymore or is it, in the first place, that i've just pretended not to care about him in front of my friends.

past. i hate those past. i've make too much mistakes in my life. if i can turn back the time, i wish not to sacrifice my happiness for someone else or for everyone sake for my happiness.

i've dissapointed everyone around me. from my parents to siblings to boyfriend to friends and even, i'm totally dissapoint myself even more. see. honestly, i never happy for myself.

not even my sweetie or songs could cheer me up this time. i shall be sad for awhile and cry it out for sometime cause this time, my world is collapsing real hard on me.

i'm a perfectionist and i got low self confidence. so if you're not happy with what i've said, then just walk away, give me your fake smile and put your so called "nice" comments in my tag.

If Only You Know
10:30 PM