sometimes i wonder whats the use of having friends when they, themselves criticize you. gossip about you. or even talk bad behind you. even if you really like them in person, but do you actually know what they think about you as a friend? or do you even ask them about that? strangely, i always felt that my friends dont actually turn out be to what i thought they would be. we laugh, smile and hang out with each other. but when the day comes to an end, we are total strangers in heart. so who are you in my life. thats the question i have.

dont ever ask me whats my precious memories with my friends. cause honestly, i tend to forget them sooner or later. and i got none left to remember them in my memory list. but you're so close to them. ya. but so what. do they actually know you inside out?

i've always try hard to please people but some just still, never try to appreciate me. does it hurt? yes. it is. alot i may say. but you cant make everyone appreaciate you. i know that. you dont have to tell me.

i'll always wanna start anew after every quarrel i had with my friends. but some secretly just continue hating me even if i've already apologised to them or even try to befriend them back. i may say that i dont care but the fact is that i wanna be their friend cause i wanna everyone to like me. get it. i want people to like me. i'm really trying not to hate anyone cause i feel bad and rude. yes. bad. everyone has its bad point. and so am i.

i'm stubborn. i'm petty. i'm short-tempered. i'm childish. i love to attract attention. i'm a hypocrite. i'm a poser. i'm ugly. i'm a flirter. i'm a bitch. i act alot. this list can go on and on. but do you actually admit all this to yourself? or do you ever realize it by youself? i bet you. most of us dont. but you got to admit this someday or another i tell you.

so who do i actually trust. honestly only ashraf and syukri. why there is no girls and why only guys you all may ask? so what they are guys i tell you. they respect me in person. they are two of the special people that have make me realized alot and that makes them the two trusted people in my life. and i would always remember them till eternity.

so which friends of yours are honesly true to you. only you have the answer to that question.

If Only You Know
4:30 PM