been feeling stress and fed-up with 4 things in my life. AAAARG!!! but before i start blabbing in what happen. i got to say something first. its very important.

to julie, i'm sorry to get you involved. really i'm sorry. its not your fault. its totally my fault. sorry that teacher scolded you or should say reprimand us. really sorry. i wanted to say its my fault and not you so that i will get all the blame cause i'm responsible for it. you may not be angry about it but i know how it feels when you get blame for the things that you didnt done. if you're reading this, sincerely, i'm sorry.

aniway, back to the main issue. i'm like totally stress up today. i kept quiet when my peeps played the swing just now and i'm like sitting on the bench thinking about something. my mind was wondering of somewhere else. to a place where the old pains and memories lies deeply in my soul. oh god. i've been thinking too much again. sigh.

firstly, i'm like so fed-up with my pimple. ok. fine. i'm being so lame and vain. but whatever. thanks to it that peeps ard me esp. D, G, Fhan and Fee keep teasing me. its a PIMPLE for god sake. how many times should i repeat it. and it will be the last time i explain it to you guys. it may not be like one nor looks like one but it is. fine. i'm tired of shouting just to explain it to you guys. CANCER. CANCER. i forgot. i wish my face was like few months ago. i used to be pimple free. how great. YEAH!

secondly, i'm so stress up that my home econ the food labelling i still hasnt do and need to pass up tommorrow. omg. i mean i've just cut it. and thats it. thats all i've done. omg. gonna sleep late today. sigh. i wont be having my beauty sleep again. sigh. why cant i have my beauty sleep on the weekdays. why cant i. sigh. i just need it for today. sigh.

thirdly, i'm kinda fed-up with myself. really. why cant i let go of the past. why cant i. it been quite awhile already and yet i still hasnt let go of it. everytime, i thought he's gone from my worry list, i will actually see him somewhere around me. and those things come back to me at the wrong time esp. when i wanted to be happy moment and when i see him, i would suddenly become crazy. i mean i become so crazy. more crazy than usually i feel. but to those peeps ard me, they say its the same but if you see deeply in my eyes, its like crazy wierd. not crazy funny. i dont know whats happening. but when that craziness is gone, i would be sad. or something like that. like as if i got no mood. sigh. i need time. but i got no spare time. sigh.

lastly, actually, i'm not totally stress or fed up with this thing but i dont know why i feel so unhappy about it. its like kinda bothering me much lately. i've been feeling some sort like insecure everytime i see him and her. its as if they are AN ITEM. its like so real that they are together. like i cant believe it with my own eyes. i dont know whether i could believe with what i'm seeing. i mean everytime i see him with her, i would become like kinda sad. i dont know why. sigh. i mean they are classmates. come on, get real you may tell me i know. i've seen them like so close twice these few weeks. and would be chattering to each other for long whenever i see them. i've always see him from afar. i mean from a distant when he talked to his friends. but he never notice it. or i think he never notice what i'm doing that before. sigh. he noticed me that i'm there but he never come and approach me. understand what i'm trying to say here. nvm. just read between the lines and hopefully you will get it and understand. sigh. i know i'm not jealous. I"M NOT JEALOUS! GET IT!! I'M NOT! I'M REALLY NOT! oh ok. or i think i'm not. sigh.

exam is coming like lesser than 2 weeks. oh god. i'm not mentally prepared for it. even though i've like done most of my revision but still i hasnt prepared of all this at all. lit and home econ test tommorrow. omg. gotta revise back. omg. fasting will be ard the corner. oh god. need to fast for one month. i'm lazy. unluckily, we will be fasting during our EOY exam. oh god. thanks alot.

gotta end here. wanna do my home econ labelling thingy. good nite peeps. ciaoz.

If Only You Know
10:50 AM