wee.. change skin at last.. hahax.. been waiting for this saturday for quite a long time.. sssh.. thats a secret why i'm waiting for it.. nah.. not my birthday.. nor anyone i know.. tommorow is the date that used to be so important to me.. but now, its just a normal day.. just a normal weekend.. just a nothing to me anymore..

thanks jason and juline for your advice.. i know i should tell him but i just dont want it to sounds as if i'm force him to do that.. i told him once and i dont want to tell him again.. it may makes me sad, hurt or anything like that but just let me suffer my own pain.. the pain that used to be a burden to someone... i know deep inside he cares for me but he just didnt show it out.. i used to be like that.. been in that position for so long.. and now, i've change to treat people better and show that i appreciate and care but now, he treated me the same way that i used to be.. it hurts so bad but what can i do.. tell me.. nothing can change him i know..

G. says he always busy.. fine.. i try to be reasonable.. i try to understand.. i try to be in his position.. but never in one day, he search for me.. did he ever do that?? no.. for what i try so hard to do all this when he just do nothing.. i try so hard not to be a nuisance to him.. not to be irratating.. not to so stubborn.. not to change him.. not to be the person that i used to be.. for what i'm doing all this.. its because i care.. i treasure.. i love him.. this always motivates me not to be sad for the things that he had done to me.. the purpose of me doing all this.. but i just want him to show that he care.. thats my greatest wish.. thats all.. i dont mind he likes other girl besides me.. i dont mind if he change his attitude towards me.. i know i dont want him to change to be someone his not.. but nothings seems to change the situation no matter what i do.. or is it i think too much of all this.. haiz..

been keeping this thing for quite a long time.. i wish you were like last time.. where you still not that important in my life.. where you show you care.. haiz.. wanna end here.. this thing make me no mood to blog anymore.. ciaoz.. gud nite!

If Only You Know
12:30 PM