sharina

2008-02-01T11:29:00.001+08:00

SHIFTED OFFICIALLY!
too bad, go figure

last post.

2008-01-01T17:30:00.000+08:00

well, 2007 was great with alot of things happening and met alot of new friends along the way too such as nisa and matin while some friendship bond becomes more closer such as aaron and farhan. not forgetting, knowing boyfriend where our 7th month is coming. FEEWIT!!! what a memorable year to remember (:

yesterday went CT hall with boyfriend. i wanted to dress up and etc but was lazy to do so, so i just wear my work clothes. went there straight after work. we watched the fireworks for a few mins at padang then headed off home cause i was like tired although mum extended my curfew to 1 am. supposedly meeting faiz f., basirun and gang but i didnt have the chance too cause padang was pack and i'm not even sure where they were so i just went off without seeing them.

this will be my last post before shifting to a new blog. i'm getting myself familiarize at there before i proudly tell you people, the url of my blog.

lets bid this 2007 with smiles and welcome the 2008 with open arms!

update aft a week.

2007-12-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

oh fuck, i miss everyone especially faiz f., farhan and aaron. i need more time so that i can spend time with them and i cant. the reason to it cause i've been working 24/7, even if i got an off day which is usually one day, i spend it all away with boyfriend. this is pathetic. AARRRRGGGGHH!!

like usual, i went out with boyfriend again today. oi gendeng, i love you (:

tomorrow, working all over again. just think about the pay baby, woohoooo, i seriously cant wait for that and clear debts of those late birthday presents. HAHAHA! i've been thinking what to give faiz f. and nura cause i seriously dont know whereas for aaron, its already on my mind and boyfriend, its a little bit difficult. there's LOTS of things he wants, just deciding which one is more to his needs rather than wants. hmm... lets see what i finally gave him, other than swesens that is.

4 more days to 2008. i need new year resolutions like asap. but before doing that, i will be getting a new blog. YIPEEE!! at last! anyway, should i work on the 1 jan or get a double pay? i'm confused.

i'm off to edits picas, people. update again next week i guess. take care readers.

after so long. 11 days actually, updates.

2007-12-19T11:15:00.000+08:00

&& now i think friendster is *toot* as youngster now is populating the site and childish people demanding comments. how lame can this be? dont try talking myspace to me even. all those "cooooool" kids are all over the place. you dont even know which is the wannabes from the real ones honestly. all of this is random. dont bother much about it.

anyway, i'm having like two days straight off which i dont really like it that way cause this means that thursday, i'll be working. bloody ass. for goodness sake, its hari raya haji people. its true, we dont really celebrate it much but its even more holy than hari raya puasa. dont you know about that? someone told me this actually and i think its my mum, i think so. oh, i dont know.

yesterday, went out with boyfriend as usual. we went like marina then suntec, just to play arcade. I KNOW arcade its not MY favourite thing to do but when there's nothing else better to do and with boyfriend temptation to play, i just go along with him. it was also the n lvl result, i think out of those i called yesterday, i think around 4 out 8, make it. i cant remember how many people i did called exactly. i called aaron first, and he didnt make it which is expected. i mean he studied like one day before the paper. what do you expect? hope we will still stay in touch or something like that. he's a great guy after all and i kinda miss hanging out with him. oh my dear bestfriend, when are you free?

today, no plans. i purposely make myself free the whole day today cause i dont feel like going anywhere. most probably, i meet up my mum at around 6 later on and thats it. likely, next week my off days would be monday and thursday. i prefer this than tue and wed for unknown reason.

work starting tomorrow, i'm dreading this as always.

back with him (:

2007-12-08T10:07:00.000+08:00

just forget whatever i say yesterday. i'm back with him. hope he fulfill his promise this time around.

i gotta go. off to work (:

single yesterday.

2007-12-07T14:15:00.000+08:00

suprise-suprise, i broke up with him last night and when i thought, i made a big mistake, right now, i think i really want it for real and badly. blame me for all i care. its nothing to do with other guys honestly. yesterday was the last straw and i thank you so much for that, i really do.

yes, its true that i prioritize my friends more than you do. cause you know why, i dont want to be like pathetic you to lose most of friends and they thought i was the one who didnt let you to be with them. irony isnt it? i have never neglected you eversince i started working. honestly, these past days, i didnt even contacted my friends that much, and you know it but why cant you be understanding for me to spend my time with my friends today when i got an off day? is there any wrong with that? yes, we didnt spend that much time recently and we can make up for it today but we talked on the phone every night and you picked me up from work. at least, i see you like twice a week. but my friends? its like twice or thrice per month. yes, that is so lame. no wonder MANY girls cant stand you. you're so controlling and you say you're not? you must be kidding me.

its my fault that i kept finding faults with you and get easily irritated by you. you know how many times i endure them and i willing to give you time after time chances but i think you took that for granted. you told me that i can never found someone like you back then. oh come on, i've found two guys like you before i even met you and why cant i find them after you? at least, they are not dirty-minded as you are. now, i spilled the beans uh? this is my secret, all this while, i've treated you this good OR bad OR so-so (you choose) based on how you have treated me but a little worse. this is reality, you get what you deserve. you think i'm cruel? see those previous girlfriends OR dates OR whoever girls you used to go out to? how bad were they to you compare to mine?

for your info, you're going to be ALONE again on your birthday which is next week. i no longer care nor gonna give you any sympathy for that. no swensen's on my first pay-day. YESSSSSSSSSAAAAAAA, duit aku save (: && with that, i bid this relationship a goodbye and hello singlehood!

mondo, first time werking.

2007-12-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

first day of work baby, today. oh my, my leg is like aching. i cant even bent without my knee hurting. tell me, who's leg is not hurting of 10 hours standing? despite all that, the job was great. i really love it seriously. my colleagues (okay, how do you spell that?) were all super friendly and they are gerek although majority is from malaysian, there's one singaporean and one vietnam-ese.

i encountered two choosy/troublesome customers today. first customer, her daughter wanted to buy this shoe, asked me to take two new piece of different sizes, the size that her daughter could wear, she told me there's scratches, asked for a new one when that is the last piece for that size then wanted not to buy but after much persuasion, ended up ordering a new piece. second customer, ask me this one shoe in 3 different sizes in brown colour while also, asking me the exact same shoe in 2 different sizes BUT in orange/yellowish colour and ended up buying the biggest size of the brown colour with the pading on. thats the worst. i bet no one can tolerate any of them. thanks for the help to my seniors to these kinds of customers. overall, one customer make my day, she easily could spot out that it was my first time working. she's a nice lady, talking/joking with me while i helped her out. orang-orang macam gini lah buat my keje more fun dah enjoyable lah ooooiii.

finally, 9.30pm came, packed stuff which is easy-ist. by 9.45, off we're home. went home with mum as she went to check out on me and reached home at 10.25pm. thats my day, people. and oh yes, i work somewhere in century square where everything it sells are womens' shoes. A BIG CLUE! (:

due to this, i would rarely be online so be understand-nable. to anis, life has to go on with OR without him. if he really loves you in the first place, he would come back to you sooner or later no doubt. it seems like everyone i know is breaking up. how sad when mine is still going on. GRRRR!!!

off to bed. need my beauty sleep. no more eye-bag pluuuueeeeeeese?????

one new camera (:

2007-11-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

i'm here to update since some stranger tagged me, asking me to update. okay, thats strange. anyway, thanks to boyfriend, i finally pursuit one of my wishes to buy a camera. no, its not my money. i havent even start working. like an ordinary last child, my mum willing to buy it for me AND sharin. stop saying i am a pampered/spoit-brat just because everything that i want, most probably and some of them, i can get it through her but honestly, i dont get all of them. try having a good relationship with your mum, you will likely be like me especially if your mum is working. i'm planning to buy this camera which i will get by next weekend maybe. what you guys think? worth it?

Details: 8.2 megapixels, 4x Optical Xoom, 2.7"LCD Display, Wide-Angle 28 mm, Anti Blur Technology, XD/SD Compatible Slots
Free Gifts: 2GB Card, Mini Tripod, Camera Case, Cleaning Kit, Usb Card Reader, Screen Protector
COST:$135

but the problem now, who's going to provide me with the energizer e-square lithium battery each time the old battery gone flat? alermak, nie yang aku benci.

azelea tiara (:

2007-11-25T15:45:00.000+08:00

Presenting You My Favourite Niece, Azelea Tiara (:

she will always say "aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh?" everytime she play around with the phone. how cute is that. i noticed that i only love my nieces or nephew when they are below 3 years old and after that, i just find them plainly annoying. by then, they really create stupid noises. GRRRRR!!

enchanted.

2007-11-24T22:30:00.000+08:00

i went to watch enchanted with boyfriend just now at bugis. okay, serious the show was so-so. not much to my expected cause i expected it to be better. my boyfriend enjoyed the show. so at least, i prove to him that girls like this type of show because its romantic plus comedy.

i'm off from here for now. my favourite niece is the house ya'll (:

interviews.

2007-11-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

lets update what i've done for this week. i've went for interview at isetan and metro. sign my name up at precious thots and another interview with starbucks. no sign of metro as they say they would call us yesterday at 10am but i have not receive any so yeah, one out, three more to go.

isetan and metro interview was short with nisa also beside me. starbucks was scary. they asked alot of questions and i answered like few sentences, firstly because it was my first time alone, interviewing and i didnt expect they would asked so much but all the questions were answer-able.

yesterday was my first time working. its just a day job so yeah, its worth to try. firstly, i just need to sit down and just arrange the documents. i'm like doing it for the times magazine, under posting. i sort of like sorting out the orders according to the numbers and the workers will pack the times magazine, seeing the no. copies the document stated and send the magazine to tokyo. i need to do like around 400++ of documents. serious, no kidding. it took me like 6 hours to do it. i start work at 3, end at 9. then went home with my brother as he work in that company too and he's the one recommended his manager to me. and you know what, his manager told my brother that i was playing air (daydreaming). i was not okay till my left bra strap snapped halfway. i was worry sick about it incase the workers could see my **** as all the workers are guys. luckily, dinner time come soon and off i went toilet with one of this pakcik telling me the direction of it. i just got the feeling the manager dislike me for idk what reason. WHATEVER! i dont want to work there also! overall, the job was alright with the friendly workers, other than bra strap snapped and the manager.

off i go. i wanna make a cup of milo for myself.

boredom.

2007-11-19T12:30:00.000+08:00

ignore previous post alright, people (:
thanks my dear friends for the concern.

i need a job like ASAP. i'm broke and i'm bored at home. i've been going out with boyfriend these past days and he have to treat me. pity him and i feel bad. i cant wait to get for the first pay check. i shall ask my brother for the job like tonight. training for few days and off, i go to the working life. bye-bye computer, television and sleep-land to entertain me during those boredom times.

today is nabillah's birthday so to my sweetest gf, HAPPY 16 BIRTHDAY. finally your first legal NC16 show. HAHAHA! all the best for the result and hope our friendship last forever. love you.

short updates. no plans for today, baby-sit my nephew.
&& also, i'm broke. remember?
i'm heading to sleep-land. care to join?

to dad's

2007-11-18T12:45:00.000+08:00

dear ______,

it's always my fault, isnt it? aku tak buat aper-aper pun aku jugak yang salah. sharin yang buat, semua aku. main tuduh per. nabei. tak kelakar lah sial. nasib mak tak der cause confirm she comfort me dan sedarkan aku yang aku being rude. serious ah, pagi2 jer dah nak buat aku bingit. biler aku cakap, sharin yang buat, terus salahkan aku lain benda. call me rude, i dont fucking care. sape boleh layan lah sial. you're lucky that you're my ____ kalau tak aku dah lama ah letak kau kat hate list aku tho somehow or another, i actually dont like you. aku try not to hate you cause you're my ____ tapi ade jer kau nak cari pasal, macam maner anak-anak kau semua prefer mak. attitude dah macm sial, nak tegur orang punyer. at least somehow or another, i didnt dissapoint you like what sharin did. dah isap rokok, satu case then pelajaran dier. kau maner kesah in the first place and end up, mak jer yang worry. kau bobual jer per, tak pernah buat then suruh mak buat untuk kau. sedap jer. lucky you, kau dapat mak lepas tu dier boleh tahan kau. kalau aku mak, dah lama aku cerai kan kau. serious eh, sometimes aku malu dapat ____ macam kau. dah tak penting kan ugama, mak jer yang sorang trying to force everyone. she needs your help about this, bukan kau tahu anything. umur dah __, maseh tak nak taubat per. nanti esok-esok mati, susah kan diri, dah kenaper. dalam senyap, aku nangis pasal nie. kau bukan tahu. memang aku suka jawab balek, its because kau rude kat aku. assume everything that is not right in the house on me. if only i was daring enough to run away from home like what abang fathil did last time and in the first place, he ran away from home cause of you. masa-masa macam gini lah, aku nak mak aku ader with me tapi dier keje ):

yours sincerely,
your daughter.

grad night (:

2007-11-16T11:45:00.000+08:00

yesterday, grad night was a blast. actually not really. it was alright except that if only they have more performance or any suprise performance for us. i bet it will be enjoyable. although, the grad night was so-so, but having my friends around me, it was totally great. i cant believe i was actually there, siiting around my friends for who knows, maybe the last time im going to have fun with them. i took alot of photo-taking session. like around 60++ but i gonna choose the better ones to post it in here. by 8.30pm, the event ended which was way early than they stated which was 10pm. i was feeling feverish by then for idk what reason so i wanted to ask him to fetch me home, but i guess he were with his friends, enjoying. i should have not call in the first place. you didnt know, do you? so instead, i called up my mother to fetch me home and she was asking me to meet her at paya lebar mrt. so yeah, thats all for you people to know. so lets enjoy the pictures. no edits. (:

borders, no hap.

2007-11-14T11:30:00.000+08:00

no edits. (:

me and nisa. aint she's pretty?
yesterday, went wheelock place for the borders office. and you know what, they are hiring 18 years old and above. dissapointment! but luckily, we didnt went as early as last saturday. so went around looking any job vacancy. then grab one at vivo at tangs. *pray hard i will get this job* i really want this job due to the pay is high. HAHAHA! altho, i get the feeling that they wont hire me so i think i'm back to square one. starbucks, here i come! i shall start working from tuesday onwards.

today's my mum's birthday. i wish her at around 12 plus midnight and she gave me a kiss. awwww.... sayang mak (: going to have a celebration later on after she finish work, just having dinner with all the family members. so cant wait, gonna makan. YEAH! anw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAK!

&& people, i'm still attached. yes, ATTACHED!
tomorrow, grad night. i seriously cant wait.

great day, quarrel again

2007-11-10T21:00:00.000+08:00

nisa and i went orchard for the job vacancy in borders and you know what, they asked us to come on a weekday instead. its 10.30 in the morning fyi. GRRRRR!! we walked around there then went vivo. went home early due to nisa going out with her family. did i say that we went for a free styling? nisa's hair was like hot compared to mine. above are pictures we took at vivo.

aku gaduh dengan bayang lagi. seriously, aku dah malas nak layan dier. kau sakit kan, pandai-pandai ah jaga diri. i dont think you know why in the first place, aku marah. confirm dier pegi merayu kat pompan mane entah lah as usual. jangan luper nak bilang pompan tu jugak yang kau sakit. biar pompan tu show sympathy kat kau dan bilang kau yang aku nie tak guna, buat perangai everytime even biler kau sakit dan suruh kau break dengan aku. lepas tu, kau gi caye every word she says. in the end, kau terpikat kat dier pulak. kan gerek gitu? at least kau gain something. yes, aku being ego lagi. YES AH!

hari raya pictures with sec 4 batch.

2007-11-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

yesterday, jalan raya was not bad. i reached home at around 12. my feet is still hurting due to wearing high heels and it is because munir's house is further in from the bus stop where we stop. bagus lah gitu. anyway, we girls met shuk girlfee for the first time . she's a nice and friendly girl (: below are the pictures taken yesterday. i did some simple edits. enjoy them people.

Shuk Hse

me, fyq and illah

On The Way To My House

When We're At "Puccini" House

Group Photo (:

On The Way To Munir House

today is ashraf birthday so lets wish him A HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY. (:

papers!

2007-11-06T11:30:00.000+08:00

just now, i had science mcq. bloody, it was quite difficult especially physics when alot of people told me that chemistry was difficult. hmm. anyway, tomorrow last paper to FREEDOM (:

yesterday was my 5th month anniversary, so HAPPY 5TH MONTH 1 DAY to you today, sayang. although stuffs happenned yesterday that make you lose your mood, but no matter what, i will be there for you since my O Lvl is finishing just tomorrow. baik ah korang, baru dier bagi aku green light untuk keluar dengan kawan aku. GRRRRR!!! i wont mention what happened. to those who know, just be quiet about it. anyway, i love you still although these days i've been so cold towards you. trust me, i'll be back like how i used to be and i just need time. yes, i wont leave you as what i have promised you earlier. enough about it, you people shouldnt know much about this either. BLUEEEK!

thanks to sume, she reminds me about me and my switching of blogs. 2 more months to go and off i go switching it to either lifejournal or xanga. i think i'll be using xanga since not many people are using it so lets be the different one. HAHA! this blog have been my pain reliever for my life these past three years. up and downs and the funny ones too. you people, try reading my earliest post of this blog. how the way i wrote them. HAHA! i leave this blog to let it be my secondary school life memories and nothing more. i may be ashamed of this url now but somehow or another, i cant deny i love this blog and those efforts i took to change the skin. FYI: i'm proud of my achievement. -_-"

i'm busy this whole weeek. wednesdday, meet up boyfriend. thursday, jalan raya with friends. friday, boyfriend again. saturday, raffles marina here, nisa and i coming. sunday, meeting up cuzin for idk what reason. she told me something like she wanna introduce me to her company. giler ah dier tu. HAHA! anyone who wanna go out with me, the whole next week, i'm free except 14 & 15. no takers yet so far. i guess if there is not much takers by next friday, i shall start working. no, i'm serious.

i'm off. sleep have always been my thing.

):

2007-11-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

i went out with farhan to bugis for awhile for a lunch then meeet up with boyfriend. after the past three days of not being good terms with him, i put that aside and try to enjoy my day with him. and you guess what, it just get worser. fcuk lah seh.

yes, its my fault i'm making this situation hard between us. i'm trying to regain my trust back on you. i admit you did nothing wrong, but i just dislike when you try to separate me from my friends by your jealousy. my fault that my friends are mostly guys but you know how my situation is right? its true that you have change now, i can see that. maybe, just maybe i would be the same like i used to be when i'm with you. but i just need the time. give me few weeks at least and i bet you, i'll be the same. sorry if i've been neglecting you all these while when i'm with my friends. sorry that i've been lying to you, ALOT of times. sorry for hurting you for the past three days especially. i'm trying to make this better, i swear. but for now, its not the right time to amend things between us when my exams are still up. i'm like fucking stress whenever i think about my future, studies and you have never know how much i think about us, do you? you never knew, precisely. i've been bottling up all this cause i dont want you to see my vulnerable side. i've always been strong, ego thats what you kept telling me. blame it all on my ego cause i'm putting things on my stride for now. 5 months are coming sooon, bear with me alright?

seriously, aku bobual belit-belit. orang dah sedih, maner boleh fikir straight, goblok.

hari raya + o lvls

2007-10-30T13:45:00.000+08:00

i cant believe i didnt blog for more than two weeeks. i've been busy with my studies for O Lvl and hari raya these days. one more week, O Lvl is going to end for me. i'm super duper happy at that thought and i have quite alot of free time to enjoy with my friends and of course, my lovely boyfriend before i commit myself with a job. so my dearly friends, call me up and make plans with me asap.

i had maths paper 2 just now. bloody, it was difficult. i lost alot of marks, around 18 marks due to not enough time and i dont get what the questions is asking me to do. it alright, hopefully paper 1 going help me through. maths paper done now.

however, i dissapointed myself on english cause i didnt manage to finish up for both paper. okay, that suck alot cause english is important. i dont know how am i going to survive, seriously. english paper was yesterday and yesterday was really suck due to some personal stuff happened on me. super embarrasing and the incident totally make me lost my mood but thanks to sume, juline and roy for being there. i better not go on details. its terrible, i tell you.

anyway, history was great cause the topic i've studied came out. pure geog was horrible. chemistry was not bad though if only i've studied throughly on metals chapter. tomorrow, MT paper so thats why i'm blogging today. now left with F&N, physics, SS, science mcq and pure geog mcq before freeeedom.

last saturday was great. i super duper enjoyed my day with the nipons. i seriously do. they rock my life in some ways and i hope to meet them any time sooon though i've been seeing farhan most of the time compared to the others. *note: farhan is my new best-friend. yes, yes, he's there for me 24/7 like my boyfriend do except i want my boyfriend to spent a little more time with his friends too* some pics below i took that day. hope you people like the edits.

me and farhan at the back of the car
me and faiz below farhan's house

then the next day, went jalan raya with wo de boyfriend with his ite friends. talking about him, another 6 more days till out 5th months. i'm looking forward to it. i break your record already, love. blueeeeeek. and another 12 more days to happy 8 months of knowing! this is getting better and better i know.

boyfriend and i at jurong east mrt station

FYI: divas are breaking up with their boyfriends OR already breaking up with their boyfriend except me and kaya of course. i believe we, girls are independent women OR the guy we choose are the wrong ones for us. HAHA! its alright, you girls are pretty, go and find better guys who deserve you, girls aite (:

tomorrow, going to be my EXACTLY one year since i broke up with sharin. neah, i'm not sad about it. days are passing by so quickly, dont you think so?

i need my sleep now, this is even longer than my previous post seriously.

2nd day of hari raya (:

2007-10-14T14:00:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA
TO ALL MY MUSLIM FRIENDS (:
welcome my readers. its been 9 days since i've updated. yes, today is the 2nd day of hari raya but i've got no plans due to my mum is working so yeah, 80% i'm rotting at home. even if i'm going out, i'll be following my older brother to go visit his wife relatives. i think i might be lazy to go cause i wanna study a lil bit of science today. HOPEFULLY that is since i hate studying them.

yesterday, 1st day was sucky. actually wanted to go to my aunt hse at admiralty but then she went malaysia to visit her relatives there. so my whole family plan was cancelled. so instead, we went to my older brother house and celebrate there. if not, we're going to be stuck at the mrt station, not knowing where to go. luckily that is, we all werent in the train yet, or else, we will be wasting like 1 hour plus trip, going there when no one is at home except her maid. really, it would be such a waste of time. due to that, i didnt take any first day of hari raya pictures of myself or anything like that. next time aite?

tomorrow, i'll meeting up with bayang and go shopping. sorry again to kiwi for cancelling our plan yet another one. to my love, sorry for what happened recently, serious. i've been giving you attitude. i'm really super mighty sorry. i should have not take you for granted. i should have not try to mould you to be someone perfect cause no one is. i forgot the feelings i've went through like you exactly around one year ago. i feel useless more than you're feeling. such a girlfriend who makes their own boyfriend feeling useless, which one is more worse? i neither want to lose you nor having you breaking up with me. i dont want the dream of mine that i have this morning come into reality. i love you like deep,deep,down,down of the ocean sea. okay, aku merepek.

i've read all my last year post. HAHA! kekek lah siol. how time flies like aeroplane. like last year, i was celebrating this month with sharin. sooooon, we're about to break up at the end of this month. dah-dah, cukup now.

4 more days to science pratical. oh bullshit, i'm dying.
24 more days to the end of O LVL. feewiiit. cant wait (:
off, i go. such a long post after so long.

my personality test

2007-10-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

I took a short personality test just now. The results are below anyway.

Realistic Personality Type

You’ve got a pretty even-keeled head on your shoulders. You’re well-grounded and realistic. You don’t really daydream or think about the future (unless you’re planning ahead, of course). Actually, you tend to find day-dreaming and flightiness pretty annoying and pointless. Sometimes people get you confused for being pessimistic, but you know that you’re just being real

http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/6qPyvz/Personality-Type-Quiz

not forgetting, Happy Four Months, Love. sayang kamu. tak mo senang jealous-jealous lah, i tak suke lah seh and you know about it. sumpah, i sayang you aje and no one else. muaaaaaaccckkks.

eeeeeeeeewwwwww, i know. my problem uh. my blog whaaaaaaaaat (:

top ten list about me

2007-09-29T12:45:00.000+08:00

RULES:
Each player of this game starts by giving 10 things about themselves.

1) no matter how many times we quarrel, i really love my boyfriend. yes, from all the guys i've ever be with before, i'm totally different now when i'm with him

2) i have this secret love with JT. yes, laugh about it if you want to. he is my US boyfriend who owns a jet. thats what i told everyone (:

3) my love for pop music has never change till now. yes, hilary duff is still a favourite.

4) ever since that day and because of her, i no longer be friendly to those that i hardly know. dont ask me who cause i wont bother telling.

5) i love all my girlfriends but i have a hard time, getting along to new ones and finding one that really comfortable with me. thats my reason for having lots of guyfriends and not for the sake of flirting.

6) i really really want to be taller. i mean when you see me in public, i doubt so you know that i'm sixteen. tell me how sad is that?

7) i despise those people who thinks guys are better than girls. you're just being self-denial. especially those who said this, "you cant do that because you're a girl". bloody. i feel like killing them instantly.

8) guys who has a strong jealousy and also childish, is a total turn off

9) i like to be the "knows-it-all" type of girl when it comes to gossips in school and family members.

10) dont bother telling me the truth if its gonna hurt me and change the situation entirely.

last hopefully.

2007-09-14T14:52:00.000+08:00

this is my 376 post and this will be last till november 7. o's coming in about a month more to go so yup, pray hard for me that i will do super well for them. and to all my friends taking either o's or n lvl, i wish you all the best of luck too.

recent update in my life:

prelim result suck. though somehow or another, i've improved but its just not good enough fo me to even enter poly. ):

i've changed my hp no. so yes, do ask me for them. ask either through friendster or msn, thank you people. dont forget to give me yours too, cause i lost all of them. ALL due to i lost my previous phone somewhere in the house. -_-"

i'm off to sleep now before going for the night studying later for a short while only for today. anyway, to all muslim, happy fasting (:

sept hols

2007-09-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

i've been a bad blogger. i dont have the time for blogging anymore. been busy going out with people either studying or just window shopping. expect this, when my O LVL is coming which is another 1 month and two weeks to come. oh crap.

today is our 3rd month. seriously, i kept forgetting about it but thanks to roy yesterday that he saying about today so yeah, i remembered it thank goodness. i'm such a bad girlfriend i admit. so the paragraph below meant for him.

i have never felt this way before. i'm being totally honest here. not awal, haiqal, sharin nor elfie ever get to see what i am right now. i bet you that they have been waiting for this part of me to come out and you're such a lucky guy to get it. however, i hope you wont dissapoint me. i can see that you're trying to become perfect boyfriend for me though your jealousy is like super high but you dont have to be as the only thing you should do is just to put a little more trust on me. i swear i gave you all my trust like even when i jealous, you dont even know that i am. forgive all my wrong-doings for this past months. no matter, lets keep this relationship going for long aite. && i sayang you (:

oh shit, i become so mushy. eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk......

anw, yesterday was faiz birthday so happy birthday faiz. after so long, i guess you're waiting to be officially 16 right? HAHA! its been awhile since i met you, so yeah, should go out with you one day. good luck for your O's. hope you get into a poly with your ideal course. it is so funny that i have a crush on you, and you do too on me last time, but we just keep quiet about it. but whatever about it, its the past. hope you're happy with your life and go find a gf after O's.

i'm off. i'm thirsty. water anyone?

310807-outing

2007-09-01T11:00:00.000+08:00

Teachers' Day Celebration

enjoy the pictures below

it may take some time to load all of the pics

pics are all edited by me

teachers day was so-so in school. my class was supposed to have lessons but its either cancel by the teachers themselves or they didnt even come to our class at all. somehow, yesterday was such a waste of time to come to school but then, nearly the whole class took pictures of each other, even the coool gang join in the fun. i didnt have any of the whole class picture due to i was the one taking all of their pictures && happy teachers day to all teachers out there.

Study Date With Nisa

enjoy them people

it may take sometime to load our pics

edits on me

after the teachers' day celebration which at ended at 12.15pm, i was rushing to meet nisa at aljunied mrt. end up, shes the one who was late. -_-" its been awhile since i met her. we went esplanade library. it was super cold after only studying for 3 hours or so. i make a new friend frm nanyang girls high school or something like that. she's like so nice yet clever due to my first move to talk to her was to ask her on some maths question. HAHA! sadly, i forgot to ask her name. and there's like super hot guy at there, with me being thick-skinned, i'm like saying he's hot each time he walks beside me. i guess he heard it. (:

after that, i went bugis to meet my family there. bought another slipper again at roxy at raffles city. i wanna buy that DC hoodie. i so gonna aim it soooon.

overall for yesterday = fun!!!!

(:

2007-08-30T18:55:00.000+08:00

finally, prelims are like over which means o lvl is coming nearer. about another 1 more month and three weeks to go. shitto. seriously, i guess i'm having pimple break out due to o lvl. argh. and i have just starting to do my pure geog notes. freak. seriously, i dont understand why people cant seems to feel the pressure especially those that didnt do well in mid-year. would you be worried for your o lvl results if you only did pass 2 subj out of 7 like i did in mid-year? i really dont know what to say to them. i just give the erm sound to those who thinks that way. okay. i turn into a nerdy freak now, omg.

i so gonna fail maths again, sadly to say. i dissapoint myself about pure geog, with only 3 out of 4 topic i did which make me lost like 25 marks plus one mistake i did in one chapter, which is 4 more marks so yeah, i lost like 29 marks in totally. gosh. hoping that my SS would pull up my combined humans like seriously cus the essays that i studied for history didnt came out. see sharina, choose topic somemore, stubborn.

*praying hard my prelim result would be better than mid-year*

more update tomorrow i guess.

prelim.

2007-08-21T14:30:00.000+08:00

just now i had my MT paper for prelim. bloody, it was difficult. i give you people the chance to see my prelim schedule for this week and next week

21/8- MT Paper 1 & 2 (0800-1000, 1100-1230)
22/8- English Paper 1 & 2 (0800-0945, 1045-1225)
23/8- E'Maths Paper 1, Social Studies (0800-1000, 1100-1230)
24/8- Physics Paper 3, Elective History (0800-0915, 1045-1215)
27/8- Chemistry Paper 2, Pure Geog Paper 2 (0800-0915, 1045-1300)
28/8- Emaths Paper 2 (0800-1000)
29/8- Comb. Science Paper 1, F&N (0800-0900, 1000-1200)
30/8- Pure Geog Paper 1 (0800-0915)

so i MAY not blog till next thursday due to prelim. yeah people, wish me luck

&& i just love that guy (:

(:

2007-08-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

forget about the moodswing i had. i'm such a typical girl, so unpredictable.

during noon, i went to nipon's chalet at pasir ris. it was sad to see that dila was not there due to she has to work today as she's the only friend that im close to besides faiz. everyone was there including sharin too, but we didnt talk that much. i feel wierd somehow or another, seeing him. thanks to byg for the accompany. we spent our time there for about only 3 hours before proceed-ing to orchard. we went to eat, then went cityhall, for the starbucks. their oreo cheesecake is seriously melt to the mouth though it cost like $5.70 but it is a must to try. then we went boat quay. its been a looooooong time since we went there like a month or two ): around 9.20pm, we went back home.

otw home, i saw _____. he was riding bicycle under my void deck and i saw his friends slacking nearby. i bet you that he saw me but i pretend that i didnt see him which is so obvious cause he was just right infront of my eyes. i didnt bother to look up to his face. seriously, i no longer care.

anyway, thanks to byg, for somehow a great day. some things he told me, really was suprising. this makes me even more guitly for those times where i really show my ego-ness out or i seem to be unreasonable to him. i try not to hurt you or anything like that from now on. whatever it is, i swear, i only love you.

byg is currently watching his soccer match as his favourite team is playing. i'm sure your chelsea team is so gonna lose. i'm such a bad gf. tengok bola tu, ingat jugak lah org kat sini. jgn luper nak layan, sudah. kalau tak, besok i gna siku you.

i might be meeting byg tomorrow. hey, i'm happy about it. who doesnt? (:

short.

2007-08-19T10:45:00.000+08:00

prelims coming in two days time. i got a c6 for my malay for O's. i'm retake-ing.

english oral for O's was alright. i guess i didnt talk much as i did for prelims.

i'm dissapointed over some matters currently. i feel like _________ so that it wont bothers me. now, i feel like crying. bloody. no one knows about it and i guess its better that way. this ruins my sunday morning ):

vulgar.

2007-08-12T19:30:00.000+08:00

NABEH. CHIBAI LAH. FUCKING ASSHOLE. DUMBASS. SIAL.

okay. seriously, i just feel like saying some vulgar words.

should i believe what he said or he just going to be the guy that gonna hurt me.

honestly, i'm angry at myself and no one else. siak aje aku nie cari pasal.

yes, i finally get rid of my blog song. bloody, its irritating.

&& now, people gonna change their view about me because of this post.

qoutes by me (:

2007-08-12T12:30:00.000+08:00

1. From Now On, I Shall Stop Hoping That You Were Always There

2. I'm Letting You Know, I Did All That, Just To Know Whether You Really Care

3. Seeing These Dark Clouds In The Sky, Reminds Me How Much I Actually Misses You

4. Not Knowing Anything Is Equally The Same As I Dont Bother About You

5. It Is Sad To Leave Something Behind When You Know That Something Might Happen

6. Its Not That I Forget About that, Its Just That I Dont Want To Remember About It

7. Watching By The Fireworks, Hoping It Would Be Like The Last Time When You Are Still Here

8. Now, I Watching The Silhouette Of This Sunset Without You

credits myself, not particularly refering to someone. no, no. i'm not sad. i just have this urge to write qoutes with the weather like this and hearing such a lovely song. somehow or another, i actually feeling some of them ): anyway, tell me your favourites aite? i know its not that good that i used to do.

studying. bayang.

2007-08-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

its been four days since i've updated in here. bayang kept pestering me to update my blog but then, i was just plain lazy to do so till today morning that is. so let me recount what did i do/go for the past three days.

wednesday
i was supposed to have the ava bbq thing but then i didnt manage to go. i was already at ECP but then as bayang was there also and our relationship werent that good the previous days, i took this chance to spent my whole time with him, instead of going the bbq. i felt real bad seriously cause fazrin and ashik saw me there. but its alright, its not as if, i'll be going DC or something on monday so whatever about it. i ignored those guilty-guitly feeling the whole time.

thursday
i went town with my older brother, with byg tagging along. HAHA! seriously, this is my first time and the feeling is, oh my god, scary. i'm like scaring him to make him panicked when the actual fact is, i'm really nervous. overall, its still alright i guess but i so not gonna bring him anymore, to meet up with my family members, i feel so shy. end up, my brother bought only a brand new phone instead of his plan to buy shoes, clothes and etc. then we make our way to meet up with byg's friends and off, we go to cityhall. the night comes, watched the fireworks together (: we went home early due to he had to rush home. you dont have to feel guitly about ruining our plan when its something that you didnt expect to happen at the very last minute aite? even though the thought of me hanging out with either kimmy, faiz or roy ever came across my mind during that moment of time, but i dont feel nice just letting him go home all alone when he's not in his mood. how nice can i be i? i know.

ANYWAY, HAPPY 42th BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE

friday
i went bugis to study with roy and rafi. i didnt manage to finish the chemistry homework nor my physics homework due to i'm sort of hungry and my fingers were numb of the coldness that i couldnt ever write nicely. seriously roy, dont never bring rafi along next time. you're so not going to study with him around. anyway, i knew that going to happen when you told me you bringing him. but i dont feel nice, if i said i mind you bringing him along. studied for 3 hours then i met up with byg around there. we went BK then bought my slippers at last at m]phosis. that slippers is preetay (: by the time 7 plus, we reached pasir ris park. we talked about alot of stuff. yeah, i mean ALOT.

i promised i wont do the same thing that i did when i was with elfie. i so not going to betray you. i'm sorry that i'm still going out with the other guys but its all for the STUDY. why should i do all that to hurt you when you're the only one i love (:

today
supposedly i have plans to study with kimmy today. but i'm not sure whether its confirm. i texted him, but no reply. *pray hard that this plan wont get cancelled* if it is, i got no plan, and i have to panic and find another person to study with. bloody ass. i hate it when this happen. GRRRRRR!!!

off i go. i going to eat my breakfast. enjoy your day, people [:

bingit. B W P!

2007-08-07T19:00:00.000+08:00

i'm not angry seriously cause the actual fact is, the matter doesnt hurt me at all nor a single bit. but i just get angry for goodness sake, i dont even know. i guess i'm just dissapointed at myself terribly. sharina, see the reality. honestly, it can never happen. i'm just being plain stupid. since i dont get it my way, i let it be it in your own way. i just gonna close both of my eyes, and pretend i dont even know. most probably, i'm just being hard on yourself. what can i expect a change from you when i, myself still going out with my guyfriend. i'm so dead tired of getting pissed off over every single little thing. i'll forget everything, i try.

bloody menses make my mood this way.

i wonder what it is, i dont argue like this with anyone but you

happy two months

2007-08-05T18:00:00.000+08:00

i'm seriously bored at home. i wanted to go out actually with ANYONE will do but i'm just plain lazy and where can i go with singapore being small and i've already went most part of singapore that i can go to. this is pathetic, i know.

anyway, happy two months, love. i know we've gone through alot especially the last few weeks that we nearly break off but eventually, we didnt. luckily that is. i love you more than ever seriously. if i dont, you will see me knowing some guys in the net which i dont do it anymore. i know there's a time where i have really dissapointed you so much and even broke the trust that you had in me and i'm truly sorry about it. it wont happen again, i try. we have this special thingy going on, so dont worry about me giving up on you cause i wont. even if i will, it wont come any soon now. like what i have promise you, i gonna break your longest relationship record. that is something you have to look out for. i sayang you (:

yesterday, went baybeats with byg. saw tons of people i know. from rudy, tursina, hidayat, hanif, shafiq, firdaus and some, i dont remember. and on the way to cityhall mrt to go home, i saw shahrul. *pray hard, he didnt saw me* i just despise seeing him, seeing him make me realised all over again my mistake i did to him and byg. that suck pretty bad. overall, yesterday was alright i guess, but too many people, headache. i managed to study for about 2 hours in esplanade library before going to baybeats. somehow, i feel guilty of not studying entirely yesterday ):

fyi: IF i'm still in relationship with haiqal today, it would be our 2nd year anniversary already. HAHA! macam faham aje aku nie. thats lame to remember such stuff anymore but i cant help it. its in me since eons ago.

8 more days to malay O LVL results
12 more days to O LVL english oral
17 more days to prelim exam
76 more days to O LVL exam
so have everyone prepare for it?

whatever it is, i'm still waiting for 11.11 pm to give bayang a greatest wish (:

time is counting by

2007-08-03T23:40:00.000+08:00

yes, a new skin in here. it took me nearly 2 hours of doing. its been awhile since i 've done any in the first place.

stayed back in school just now to study physics. in the end, i didnt study that much due to it was like freaking hard to understand especially the last topic. now, i realised, chemistry is easier to do than physics and no one ever told me that. -_-"

on the way back home, i saw cast boy near aljunied mrt, chat a little while before he went off to cityhall. and also around there, sharin saw me. he was like chasing after me when i was walking home cause i didnt see him earlier. i was suprised to see him there seriously. its been like exactly 9 months we broke up and we did not have the chance to talk. i think its more like i'm avoiding from talking to him all these while and FINALLY, i just did it.

anyway, 18 more days to prelim, 13 more days to O LVL oral english and 79 more days to O LVL, now i'm stress even more.

&& you know what, this coming sunday is our ______ (:

pic and updates.

2007-07-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

hello people. its been awhile since i've updated. i've getting lazy-ier to post anything here just by seeing the skin itself. perhaps i will change it soon if i have the time. i wont blog much today, but pictures will be up for the past weekend that i've went out.

Friday:

roy was sad due to some silly reason. its not that silly if it actually happen but roy was just thinking too much over it. let me qoute one phrase that he said when i told him to talk things out to her, "its useless. its too late." HAHA! i told you i would write it in here. why cant she see that she's the only girl that he really loves? its stupid when people thought that there's something going on between us. for goodness sake, i have someone else.

anyway, i was freaking excited to meet byg. after all, we've not been good terms with each other for the past weeks. seriously, i was looking forward for this very day. we went beach rd, then bugis lastly, vivo. we tried oreo cheesecake and someone get addicted to it. thanks to me that is. sweets, you're the only one that i adore, i promise. (:

Saturday:

although, i was pissed off at certain time of the day but after all, it was a great day to me somehow. thanks to aaron and nad for the company. and also, i got to watch the fireworks. the fireworks was like freaking amazing but its annoying when people keep on screaming and all each time they are shown onto the sky. macam jakun gitu.

Sunday:

today is my uncle's birthday so yeah, HAPPY 53th BIRTHDAY! fyi: my mum is on the left (: my mum and i joined in the celebration at around three just now and we had some lunch there. snap some pictures with cousin too and i'm still waiting till she's online to pass the pics. i've also bought a present for juline after nearly a week of undeciding what present to give her. a hint: its something that we like.

i'm off. i'll be online again later when my social studies is done.

balek kul 1am.

2007-07-22T20:00:00.000+08:00

i'm all alone at home && i'm loving it

i went home at 1 am yesterday. my second time this year, going home around that time. blame on kimmy even though i told him i wanted to go home at 11.30am and we're still esplanade till 12am. by the time, we walked to city hall mrt, its already 12.30. no bus nor mrt is still available by that time. i was worried sick for my mother seriously cause for a girl to go home that late, all mums will be worry about. i should have went home with fiza in the first place. in the end, we took cab to go home as both of us are rushing for time and he paid for it. how nice of him.

i wouldnt elaborate much on the ealier part of the day cause its suck, i have to admit. sorry love, i wasnt myself. things just get better after i met fiza and so on. fiza and i bought this best friend necklace in cine. seriously, i like it. oh yes, sharin did save my ass by waiting for me downstairs. my mum lied on my behalf to my dad that i went to watch movie with sharin which is not true obviously. if my mum didnt tell that to my dad, i wont know what i will get from him. okay. now, i do own sharin a favour. A BIG ONE, that is.

finally, things are settled. our problems are gone. with me now getting happier [thanks to kimmy that is], i can clearly know that i still love you (:

i would have given up on you if i didnt hold on to the necklace you gave me

qoutes

2007-07-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

i love number 1, 4, 5, 8 . how about yours?

1. to love is to suffer. to avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. to be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. i hope you're getting this down.

2. you may have created my past,and fucked up my present, but you have no control over my future.

3. sometimes the hardest thing to do is to do nothing.

4. everyone says love hurts, when actually love doesn’t hurt. love didn’t leave you for some other girl.it didn’t cheat on you, nor did it break your heart. so stop blaming love for once and start blamingthe asshole that treated you like shit and gave you up.

5. whoever said, "you don't know what you have until it's gone" is wrong, because you know exactly what you have when you have it, you just don't know how much you need it until you can't have it anymore.

6. a girl's heart is an ocean full of secrets.

7. we always hurt the ones we never really loved. we always think we're all alone, we're always broken.

8. sometimes i wake at night and i ask, “where have i gone wrong?” and a voice says to me, “this is going to take more than one night.”

9. things with us are never normal. i think we like it that way, never knowing what might happen from one day to the next. i think that's why we can't ever let each other go.

10. the truth means everything to a dying heart where were you when things fell apart? excuses you gave, insulted me. take a long hard look at the truth and you’ll see.

credits: applesaucex

gambar dgn fiza on 210707 kat esp

2007-07-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

Evening Time
not much edited done. the lighting sucks.

shopping spree with fiza

2007-07-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

Our Evening Out

just know the part about my love for you

life suck.

2007-07-20T17:45:00.000+08:00

i'm going out pretty soon with fiza. yes, yes. we're okay now (:

just forget about yesterday entry. i seriously got a bad moodswing these few days however, its not because of menses. for goodness sake, i dont know why. the point i'm getting across yesterday was just that i didnt want this relationship to turn out like the previous one. that one suck. i just want this to be something better.

and you know what, i just hate it when i start not to care about stuff. cause when i do, i seriously dont bother even the biggest thing in life that i used to worry about.

the conclusion of this entry: i currently hate my life.

my problem. finally i told him.

2007-07-19T18:50:00.000+08:00

its thursday finally, after so long. tomorrow, its already friday. YEAH! i may go out shopping to buy a top with nickky, a new friend of mine (:

since he needed more time with his friends, i give him all the time he wants and need. both of our sentiments proofs that i'm being too dependent on him recently and you know what, i regret it. i guess i just doesnt want history to repeat itself and thats why i'm becoming this way. so much of me wanting to change for the better. i guess i've change at the wrong moment of time. dont blame me for being back what i used to be cause i'm just trying to be independent. first step of doing so: is to give up caring the little things about us and think more about myself.

anyway, other than the problem above that i am facing, the rest of my life is great. although prelims and O LVL is coming very soon. now, i need study partners. anyone for grab?

i'm off. more updates should be tomorrow.

maybe because we spent so much time, and i know that it's no more

harry potter (:

2007-07-15T09:00:00.000+08:00

good morning my fellow readers (:

yesterday, i went to watch harry potter with my sweetheart, aaron at marina. anyone jealous that i get to watch it so fast? HAHAHA! sadly, we got to watch it like in the first row and this is the first time, i went to watch the movies and it was fully packed. kiter jakon lah.

then, went ljs at marina and i saw hidayat and ali near there. i managed to talk to them and stuff. "yayat, bukan dating lah. jangan fikir bukan-bukan. grrr!! HAHA!" soon, i saw shahul, zul pendek and nurul. i gave them just a friendly smile cause i wanna eat already.

anyway, i saw elfie and his friends at esplande after the movie and they were like just around 1254814584784 near me. bloody. with aaron having such a cute body [HAHA!!], i was hiding behind it. but i guess, hatim saw me cause i kept on peeping at them. i regretted not to bother to talk to them or something before they leave like around 10-15 mins later from there and i saw naj and his friend soon after. at around 10pm, i make my way home ALONE. then i saw my cousin, azlan. chat with him alittle while, then off my way to the mrt and i reached home at around 10.30.

so there goes my saturday

after so long being in denial, this is the worst feeling to have

a long one.

2007-07-13T20:30:00.000+08:00

i've been a bad blogger nowadays. yes, i only updated here every friday which is pathetic. i've been busy with school especially. school has been tiring eversince june holidays are over and you know what, prelims is coming. shit.

i just had my part B practical for F&N just now and i was the muffin people. i reached home at 6pm. yes, bloody F&N took my precious friday away. never mind. there's always next week. oh ya, on monday, i'm going to have my malay O LVL LC which starts at 4.30pm. another day, of going home late. this is not getting any better for me. being sec four is torturing ):

hazmi called me out of the sudden just now. i was suprised seriously. after of not contacting each other like around 8 months or so, he called me up to ask how i was doing and stuff. thanks for the calling . its been great, catching up times with you although we only chatted like around half an hour and i didnt talk that much. fyi: hazmi is one of sharin's [my ex] friend who we used to hang out together last year.

sadly, i've been talking to myself alot lately. proof: three gf of mine had noticed that recently and told me. i guess i keep alot of things to myself and i only told kiwi about this since he sit just next to me every school days. i just dont want to let my emotions take control of me, thats the reason i dont wish to elaborate more in here and tell anyone around me yet. i realised that it is a fact[hint:read my previous post to get what i mean], it is the truth, something i have been avoiding all this while and it just hit right on my face. now, i am truly letting go of it all. whats the purpose of me _____ when i get this same shit again. thats not what i expected after we _____. i had think it through these past few days and i can see that there is no point of thinking about it when in the end, i wont understand it all.

i'm off. its a long one after so long.

the more we compare our differences, the more we're getting apart

rasa mcm byg top priority is kwn

2007-07-06T20:15:00.000+08:00

the last day of detention finally, its all over. its been a week that i've been serving it due to didnt come for the science retest on the june holiday. our detention was to stay back till 6pm to do self-study everyday. yes, including my precious friday. i was freaking happy when it all ends just now like those kids who is having their POP today. *screaming YEAH!!!!!*

yesterday, it was our _____ so happy _____. i love you, sweets [:

anyway, i had my malay oral on wednesday at bartley secondary. i screw-ed up. seriously, the question was easy. i was nervous and everything so i panic-ked my way through. when i read the passage, i can hear myself trembling and rushing to end it. every question, the invigilator asked, i merely aswered it with just two sentence and some half-way phrases. thats how bad i did. pray hard that i did well for my paper so that my marks will pull me up.

now, i feel like ____. dont ask me what is it and why i feel that way. maybe blame it on my menses for thinking such stuff or its just the bloody, cold fact. i denying it myself to believe it even. i'm not telling anyone for now till i got a solid evidence that my sentiment coincides with what it is happening right now. a hint: i feel this way before, exactly three months ago. enough, is enough. i dont deserve this at all.

school, the first week.

2007-06-29T19:30:00.000+08:00

at last, its friday. a update from me after so long. i know you people miss me [:

i was supposed to follow byg today but then i was lazy. i went into a deep sleep instead like around 4 just now till like 6 plus. i know i am like dying to meet him as i miss him like so _____. some things, i just have to make sacrifices with. dont worry, i'll be meeting him tomorrow.

i'm addicted to "no work, all play" by hilary duff. i recommending you people to hear it. though i dont really like most of the songs in her current album but this one, really gets me to shake my butt and you know, i know. HAHA! i miss those times which was like 2-3 years back. pop music was the only thing i knew. i've keep changing myself, just to stay current. isnt everyone is?

the humidity in Singapore is outrageous. its like freaking hot even though, you just bath earlier. grrrrr. maybe that is one of the reason i dont even feel like going out anymore. but i cant live staying at home for the coming 3 days, rotting. boring!

anyway, this week was the first week of school after a such short holiday for me. i sit with kiwi in class. well, a change as i dont sit near the divas. i'm like in another side of the classroom. i just want to concentrate more in class. yes. i'm pushing myself more than i ever did to myself. due to this, i'll be off from here for now to complete most of assignment.

ciaoz people. more update tomorrow, i guess.

update. back to sch tomorrow.

2007-06-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

yesterday outing was fun like shit. as you can see that i seriously enjoyed it due to the pictures below that i have posted earlier of the day today. i get to know one new friend [dier budak coooooooool lah cus dier beli cardigan. HAHA!] and she is so addicted to taking pictures. i have never noticed her in my whole life though we live around the same area and she does reminds me of dhiya [sharin's ex, twin bro]. anyway, we went to town to search for her cardigan then we went down to esplanade for the fireworks. the uncivilised person, fiza, brought along her sister. HAHA! my main reason of calling her that is, did you noticed at the second picture, she is doing something with her teeth. we were somewhere in a public department store and fyi, its not in the toilet. with me, being mean and IT'S my blog, i've posted that picture purposely. HAHA!

as i was spending my whole time with the girlfriends, i sort of didnt follow my actual plan which is to spend my time with byg yesterday. surprisingly, rasoool had to go off halfway and left him. sorry sweets. sorry that i didnt reply your text cus i thought he was there to accompany you for the whole day and you didnt even tell me that he had to go off. i know i'm like so ___. due to me being so ___, i got to wait till this coming saturday to meet him again. my bet. ]:

tomorrow, school starting. homework left alot to do and i have only done history and some questions on the mathematic worksheet i guess. i should do it now since i'm already bored in here. and btw, i wont update that much till friday so cioaz people. happy schooling tomorrow. NOT!

GIRLS' DAY&NIGHT OUT 23-06-07

2007-06-24T09:45:00.000+08:00

The Girls

Stupid Faces With The Uncivilised Person

You Rock

Fiza & I While Waiting For The Fireworks

At Last, The Fireworks Started

Nura's Idea Of Posing Like A Groupy

Twist For The World To See

On The Way Back Home

fantastic four movie with sumedhaa and juline

2007-06-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

i'm back after two days of not updating in here so HELLO [:

juline, sumedhaa and i went to catch Fantastic 4 during noon at cathay cineleisure just now. it have been 54641885414558 since we went out together. i find some parts of the movie funny, not as in "HAHA!" but just merely stupid. firstly, there's one scene where the silver surfer was left all alone in a room as the officers were taking a break. for goodness sake, isnt it so lame? anyone who has a common sense would put some guards to guard him incase he tried to escape but instead, all of the officers in the room with the guards too went off for a break. secondly, the victor guy was just a distraction of the whole movie cause his role is not important at all and he's not the bad villian when all of us thought he is. i guess they were trying to make some suspense here but the suspense doesnt turn out that well. ironically, the villian is not even human/super bad villian in the comic but stupidly was just a ______. but overall, its not that bad honestly. i enjoyed the show. the graphics is great. watch the movie to fill up the blank.

anyway, we were walking around orchard. from heeren to tangs then far east and then off to ps and went home. we eventually stopped searching for graduation night's dresses at far east cause we were tired of looking around. fyi; that white dress i saw, cost like $89. now you tell whether is it worth it to buy? seriously, i didnt know i gonna get that tired of just window shopping. we went to eat at BK at ps before heading home by bus.

i reached home at around 5.15pm due to sumedhaa having violin classes later on and juline is going to fetch her mum from the airport so yeah. mum was happy that i went home early today unlike i normally do. "ini baru cakap anak mak" -_-

i cant wait to watch harry potter especially that draco malfoy guy, HOT-NESS. hopefully he's in the movie still. in cinema on 12 july, a thursday and another 19 more days to opening. i calculated it all on my fingers, honest. my fingers can do wonders. HAHA!

"dont think about the past. move on. all it do is just wanting to hurt you" wow, for someone like patrick saying something like that, its like a miracle has just happen. yes. i was that bored just now till i watch spongebob square pants when i dislike watching it the first place just because i got nothing better else to do at home as i couldnt sleep though i am tired.

oh yes, i guess i'm having a slight fever ever since i got home and school is staring on monday now, i'm dreading to go to school. torture of having extra classes till 5 something every tuesday till thursday. GRRRRR!!

enough for now. i need to relax.

qoutes.

2007-06-22T19:00:00.000+08:00

1. Will it still matter if i told you that all i really want is just to be with you again?
2. Even if she replaced me in you life now, it wont be the same. Trust me, i can see it in her eyes that she's going to be that another girl who's gonna hurt you like all those did before me.
3. Those guys who has a list of pick up lines for girls are like those girls who flirts around with every guy, giving all those white lies away.
4. I know i'm not a good girlfriend but at least i've tried to be. And you told me that you're a good boyfriend when the fact is you dump me for someone prettier. How irony?

Credit myself. Not refering to anyone in particular. "Terasa eh? bluek."

random

2007-06-19T17:00:00.000+08:00

i'm bored at home, thats the reason i've blog again. but the great thing is that, i'm all alone. i've got nothing good to write so dont blame me cause i've not been going out since yesterday.

tomorrow, i'll be in school in the morning till noon, and i MAY go out after the retest so i may not blog. hey. i've been continously blog for the past four days, count yourself lucky mates.

byg is unhappy that i've kept blogging about my prevous bf. get this straight, i longer held any feelings towards him. he's no longer important in my life. the point of blogging about him yesterday was just to tell people how stupid can i be, to fall for someone like him then. anyway, i just merely wants our relationship or so to be confidential. try to understand aite, my dear.

&& oh yes, HAPPY 100 DAYS OF KNOWING YOU, SWEETS. HAPPY 2 WEEKS OF _______. i let you people to fill in the blank instead of me, telling it to the whole world. i'm nice, isnt it? bluek.

I love you, do i make you go speechless now?

survey

2007-06-19T11:15:00.000+08:00

Survey

1) Single, Taken, or Flirting?
HAHA! its for me to know, and for you to find out. but definitely not flirting anymore

2) Are you happy with where you are?
more than happy. exhilarated,elated,over-joyed and all those happy stuffs

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
not really. if i fall fast on that particular someone, 100% i am charm by his looks

4) Have you ever had your heartbroken?
who hasnt?

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
yes cause i USED to cheat someone. HAHA! i done that due to some reason honestly

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
depends, and if he is serious about being together back

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
alot of times. i want to get married at the age of 27 but he wanted earlier. grrrrr

8) Do you want children?
obviously

9) How many?
2

10) Would you consider adoption?
not really

12) Do you want someone you can't have?
now? nope. i've gotten what i want and i'm blessed with it

13) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
i'm not sure. i'm still young. even if that happens to me, its just infactuation/crush

14) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
yes

15) Do you believe that you can change for someone?
not really. even if you did change for someone, its not going to be entirely. its all depend on yourself whether you really wanna change for the better or just like it the way you are.

16) If you could get married anywhere, money's not an object, where would it be?
everywhere. around the world or even to some planets

17) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
yes, ALOT.

18)Have you ever wished you could have someone but you couldn't?
USED to. everyone is, isnt it?

19) Have you ever broken a heart?
HAHA! yeah, a few

20)Would you wait till the guy/girl make the first move?
not really. the only first move i would take is to just confess my feelings to that particular someone and thats all.

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your boyfriend/girlfriend?
nope. why bother?

22) What would you say about your ex?
he sucks. [:

skip retest. old elmo's msg.

2007-06-18T13:00:00.000+08:00

ive been blogging three days in a row. its a achievement after so long.

i didnt went for today's retest due to i'm tired and i woke up sort of late [i forced myself to wake up later. HAHA!]. then i think my form teacher gave me a call, asking whether i knew about the my chemistry retest and all, and he asked me whether i was sick. lyingly, i say a definite yes answer and he told me to get an MC so that i can do the retest when school reopen. i promised you guys that i will go to the wednesday's retest. i already gave up on my science long time ago.

my plans for today is to be at home for the whole day and study. hopefully, i will study my SS which i dont even know which essays will be coming out. grrrr. and also, do a one page on a piece of paper of all the maths formula. i have to force myself.

after so long of not posting any pictures here, i finally put it. we took it yesterday when i'm in her house. i sort of hate this pic though cause my face looks like, "i so gonna kill you later, camera" sort of thing. -_- i seriously dont know why she gave me this pic of all the pics we took yesterday. i gonna demand her better pictures when she is online later. oh yeah, she's in ngee ann poly, a second year student, taking the early childhood course [those who knows her, tag me aite].

i switched on my old phone back yesterday's morning and i saw all elmo's texst with those texts that i replied him back during that time [that time was when we just broke up]. ironically, i kept all those my sent texts which was around 50 plus instead of keeping his text. fyi; i read all of them for the one last time before finally, deleted them away.

me:"you know what, i seriously miss you."
him:"really? i miss you too."
me:"for your info, i still want that one guy who have hurt me so much recently even though byg have been treating me so good"
him:"and who is that one guy?"
me:"one day, i will tell you."
him:"but when is that one day?"
me:"i ensure you that, that one day will come and i tell you. you dont have to worry about it."

obviously, i was hinting to him that, that one guy was him. that text seriously make me giggled to myself. i was so ____ about my feelings to him. HAHA! old memories is old. dont blame me for being so ____. i like him then, what can i say?

my lunch time is now. i'll be back tomorrow i guess.

survey. ex.

2007-06-18T12:00:00.000+08:00

Pick One Of Your Ex Boyfriends

The Basics: You and Your Ex

What is your name: reene
What was your ex's name: elfie
How did you meet: in school
When did you meet: last year i guess but i didnt really talk to him cause that time, i didnt know him till mid january this year when he asked for my number.
Officially: end of january.
What were your first thoughts: that guy is super cute, not bad XD
What/where was your first date: the first week of febrauary on a friday
How old were both of you: he is 16, i'm 16 soon
When did he/she meet your family: he havent met them yet
When did he/she meet your friends: he knew one of my girlfriend since last year
What did your friends think: they gave me the green light
How long into the relationship was your first argument: 28 days
What did you argue about: about some guy who asked me out

The fun stuff

Who flirted first: him
How did you know he/she was into you: his best friend told me if im not wrong
Did he/she use a pick-up line: nope
If so, what was it:-
What was the longest you had gone without seeing each other: 5-6 days i guess
Were you friends before dating: not at all
Do you like the same sports teams: nope, i'm not into his soccer stuffs
When did you meet his/her friends: i guess around march
How do you feel about his/her friends: they were alright
When you are both in the car, do you agree on the music: never been together in the car in the first place. even if there is, i will just listen to whatever he wishes to listen
Did you get nervous before the first date: not really

The Hardships

Have you been through anything really tough together: not really. even if there is, i dont remember it at all.
What?:-
Why did you feel it was/is important to work things out: cause i seriously liked him
Has he/she seen you cry: nope
Has he/she made you cry? How?: yeah. when he was NOT there for me and when we broke up.
Have you made him/her cry: nope
Why: i didnt want to hurt him or anything
What did you do to fix problems in your relationship: i will just let it be for a month to see how/where is my relationship is going before talking things through

The Ummm.... Personal Stuff

Who held hands first?: i guess its me
Where was the first kiss?: lips
Who kissed who first?: he
How did you feel after that first kiss?: speechless [:
Who made the first "big" move? definitely, him
How did you feel: all the happy and good feeling. HAHA!

Your Friends and Your Past Guy/Girl

Do any of your friends absolutely hate him/her?: my used to be guy-bestfriend. not hate, just disliked and i didnt know about it till he broke up with me
Why?: he just didnt trust that guy
Did you go on group dates?: never
Does your guy/girl consider any of your friends to be his or hers?: nope
Did any of your friends talk bad about your partner to you?: yes when we're about to break up. only my gfs that knew about our problem.
How do you respond?: i do not have any comment about it cause i was confused
Did your friends think affect your relationship?: not really.

Firsts together

Movie?: ghostrider, the first and the last movie together
Drink?: i dont drink at all. i'm not sure about him though.
Secret?: i will break your longest relationship
Promise?: i wont break up with you till you ask for it
Purchase?: none
All night talk session?: on chinese new year. mid of february.

There's a few How much do you REALLY Know? (About your ex...)

Birthday?: 23 January
Parent's names?: i only know his dad's name, aman
Pet's Names?: none
Favorite Song?: too many. but he frequently listen to my heart by acha and irwansyah. some indonesia song
Favorite color?: white definitely
Favorite Animal?: i dont know
Favorite TV Show?: if i'm not wrong, he do not watch much of tv
Favorite sports team?: i dont know
Favorite Movie?: same anwer as above
Where was he/she born?: in singapore
Where did he/she grow up?: here
Who is his/her best friend?: hatim
Worst Fear?: i dont know

Some relationship Randoms!

Is there anything you wish was different?: yes
What?: to know whether he was true to me when i was still with him
Would you have done anything differently up until now?: nah
Do you see you guys ever getting back together? nope and never

long post. lost weight. nurs's birthday.

2007-06-17T12:00:00.000+08:00

an early post which means i'm currently bored and i will be out in the afternoon. i will be off to clementi with my parents to my uncle's place later cause there is some ceremony [kenduri, org putih ckp ape ah?] over his house. after so long of not meeting my cousins, i get to meet them at last. i shall ask them out one day. i guess after o lvl or something.

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURA! sorry that i sent the text like 2-3 mins later after 12 midnight cause i was completely forgotten about the time. blamed on matin for asking me, doing a test about him and chatting with me on msn yesterday night. bluekk.

yesterday, i saw faiz nipon and yus. yes, YUS! that cute but sadly, flirtatious guy. that guy went bald like omg. he looks better with hair seriously. its been such a long time since i met him. i guess he is NS now due to the bald-ness.

&& i saw this white dress at far east like super nice. wanted to buy for graduation's night [i knows its a long way to go but who cares?]. sadly, byg told me, it is quite revealing as i will be going to grad night with aeris. as you know, aeris and i USED to have something going on between us so you know, i know. but its a promise that i have make with aeris about going together for grad way before i even know byg and i cant just break it like that. i still remembered what i said to him on the phone some time ago.

me: 'no matter what happens to us, you still have to go to grad night with me'

oh yes, i've been helping my mum with her kuih since an hour ago. i sort of looking forward to do them a week ago but when she asked for my help just now, i went like, "eeeerrrggggghhhh. what do you want?" sort of replying. guess i'm just lazy.

you know what, my weight suprised me recently cause i lost like around 4 kg. i'm so proud about it obviously. as after so long of not keeping track of my weight eversince last year [girls are just afraid of the weighing machine. HAHA!], i thought i have gain weight due to eating chocolate everytime i'm stressed. but that doesnt count, when my height still remains the same. gggrrrr. -_-

give me some luck on tomorrow's tests people. a definite answer, i still going to fail chemisty.

sadly, i have to go now. i have to help my mother AGAIN cause one of her kuih had ruined due to the bland taste so ciaoz.

if you keep going back, you will always stay that way

new skin. bsk nura's bday.

2007-06-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

for a change, i will do something nice and blog for you people. its that great or what?

i have changed my layout yesterday into something more simpler. yes. just a simple one, it took me 9575468748 hours. thanks to bayang for his comment on my layout by saying its ugly. at least, i know how to make layouts, compared to you. HAHA! bluek.

oh yes, my study plans didnt go well as i planned it to earlier due to some last minute plans or changes that occurred along the way. next week is the last week of holiday and i'm back in school. darn it. which means i will have extra classes every tuesday till wednesday from 2.45-5 somthing. oh my god. seriously, i dont even feel this june as a holiday though i dont need to go to school in the morning and attending extra classes in the afternoon. fyi: retest is on monday[phy&chem] and wednesday[maths&ss] and i have not yet study them all. bloody ass. i'm dead.

tomorrow is nura birthday. HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY GIRL! "baru nak masuk sixteen kepe? =P present tanggung eh, currently broke lah. tak pe. present aku pun, kau tanggung pe last time. aku ingat tau. HAHA! wish you all the best in life. doesnt mean we're no longer best-friend, we cant be close anymore. you know the reason why aku tak mix with kau these days. its for your own good." anyway, i will be wishing her by texting later and tomorrow again in here if i blog.

i will be going out with bayang today. hey, safayafa rinfindufu afawakfak seh, takfak safabarfar nakfak jumfumpefe. its been 11 days since ________. ily, dearie [:

nothing more there is to say, i'm off from here.

my horoscope

2007-06-16T13:15:00.000+08:00

Star Profile: Taurus

Introduction
The Bull, as befits an Earth sign, is a grounded and devoted sort, but that shouldn't be construed as boring. Remember, that Bulls can charge! Taurus generally wants a harmonious and beautiful relationship, given as they are to a fondness for pretty things. Whether it's a sweet serenade or silky sheets, Taurus loves anything luxe and those who can bring that aspect into their lives. Does this make the Bull all style and no substance? Not really, since Taureans are both sentimental and romantic and possessed of a dogged determination which virtually assures that they will get what they want. Keeping the Bull feeling good is the best guarantee of a considerate lover, one which will work hard on a relationship filled with sensual pleasures.

Romance
Sweetness and light may be the best recipe for romance with the Bull. This is a sign which is oh-so-responsive to a wink and a smile and a tender touch, and if all this comes with roses and champagne, much the better. Material pleasures are important to Taureans, and they will create a den of delight sure to dazzle their lover. Seeing as how security and possessions are important to Taurus, a provider of these things will quickly make it to the top of their list. The reward? Undying loyalty and a kinship which is sure to please.

Relationships
The Bull is nothing if not committed and will make a wonderful partner for the right person. A slow and steady courtship is most pleasing to this sign, and Taurus will stay in the game until they get what they want. That kind of perseverance is sexy indeed, and many will be won over by this quality alone. An unfaithful partner is the kiss of death where the Bull is concerned, so cheaters need not apply. Taurus enjoys the one-on-one of a close relationship and the affection and intimacy which this provides. The Bull is also strong enough to be the power in a relationship, so a lover is well-served to practice the art of conciliation whenever necessary. If words don't work, go shopping, because Taurus loves finery and those which can provide them the baubles they love. The ideal Taurus soulmate has a platinum card and isn't afraid to use it.

Love
True and steady Taurus can appear a bit perfunctory on the outside, practical in that earthy sort of way. This, however, is only half the story. Deep inside is a smoldering lover waiting for the right cues. The Bull wants, and needs, to be safe and pampered, but will flourish if a lover can convince them to take a risk. When they do, watch out! The Bull can also be very focused in affairs of the heart, the risk being that possessiveness may step in. Consequently, monogamy with a certain degree of autonomy is the best balance for the Bull. Those born under this sign believe that love and sex go hand-in-hand, in that order, and that's that.

Sexuality
Taurus is one alluring package, thanks in part to their love of beautiful things. Those lucky enough to snare this lover will find that the best, amazingly, has been hidden from view! In private, the Bull is an intense partner and one quite happy to have sensual encounters go on all night along. The Energizer Bunny of the zodiac has arrived! These days and nights of play should be punctuated with conversation, fantasies, even a few edible treats, the better to create the perfect mood. Sex as a release from the more practical aspects of life is often all the Bull wants. If this play date can be scheduled for Taurus' beloved home, all the better, since comfort is always on the Bull's mind.

What a Taurus Needs
The Bull craves someone who is strong and practical, qualities they value in their own life. One who comes bearing gifts also wins, since Taurus is responsive to both material goods and sincere, heartfelt compliments. Making Taurus feel safe is also a smart strategy for their lover, for this approach will bring out the Bull's most sensual self. Think of the Bull as a rose waiting to be picked -- the lucky one will inhale the most intoxicating perfume. Beautiful people, as well as things, work as irresistible aphrodisiacs for those born under this sign. The Taurus lover is dependable and considerate, someone who wants to be in a beautiful world and wants that special someone to share it with. Anyone lucky enough to enter that world will find a sensual soul waiting to be nurtured and explored.

Love-Qoutes

byg horoscope.

2007-06-16T13:10:00.000+08:00

Star Profile: Sagittarius

Introduction
The sign of the Archer rules the House of Philosophy, something which speaks volumes about these inquisitive, knowledge-seeking souls. Sagittarians are truth seekers, focused intensely on learning about their lover and exploring them more deeply. Truth be told, the Archer wants to explore everything deeply, so conversations in bed can run the gamut from religion to politics and which position is most comfortable. These versatile and charming folks enjoy taking a long drink from the cup of life, something which also makes them exceedingly flirtatious and great social animals. Sagittarian candor is only matched by the need for independence, a guileless raison d'etre which can be an aphrodisiac to many. The Archer loves a challenge, just the kind of thing which spices up their already hot love life.

Romance
The game of love is a straightahead affair for the Archer, one where the rules are laid down from the start. A good time is important to Sagittarians, so playful dates will be the right appetizer for this zesty lover. Those born under this sign are intuitive and as a result have a good sense of what, and who, they want. The one lucky enough to get in their sights is in for a wild time! Possibly the sexiest part of the game for the Archer is maintaining a sense of independence in the face of a blooming relationship -- there is nothing sexier for these folks. One possible exception might be honesty, which is often why a Sagittarian lover is also a best friend.

Relationships
Mental fireworks will surely fly in a relationship with the Archer, for nothing seems worthwhile without them. This eagerness to learn can make for one very curious lover. Sagittarians love the idea of a companion, a friend/partner who can share in their quest for truth and knowledge. This relationship will be active and spirited, filled with adventures to faraway lands as well as exotic fantasies in the bedroom. Traveling has never been more fun than with the Archer! This enthusiasm comes with a keen sense of loyalty for a deserving partner, but the Sagittarian's lover must be careful not to make the mistake of becoming boring or possessive. If so, they'll be vanquished from the lair (minor rifts, though, are gladly patched up in bed). The ideal Sagittarius soulmate is well-read on everything from Philosophy to Sex and not afraid to practice what they preach.

Love
Love is wonderful for many, but it's a bit of an enigma for the Archer. What, after all, is love? To libidinous Sagittarians, it's often sex, plain and simple. These straight-shooters want a partner who is a mental and physical equal, yet one who understands "love" on their terms. This means mutual independence and an ability for each partner to do, and be, exactly what they want. Love can be hard for the Archer, since a fear of intimacy often swirls around them. For this reason, a friendship first is often the best way to encourage a love relationship with these folks. If this can be achieved, it's splendor between the sheets.

Sexuality
The Archer is a Fire sign: 'nuff said, at least where sex is concerned. The initial Sagittarian response where sex is concerned is through physicality as opposed to emotion or practicality. The Archer is not shy, and like the half beast/half human that he/she represents, is quite the sexual animal. In other words, these folks are always ready! Sagittarians like to enjoy many an erotic experience, in keeping with their outgoing and sociable nature. Their great libido also lends itself best to an artistic and graceful lover, qualities they very much admire. Trying new things is also often on the Archer's mind, and when their lover says sex on the beach, they best not be referring to a fruity drink. The Sagittarian's thirst for knowledge is often quenched through straight talk in bed, a way to combine two of their favorite pleasures. Sagittarians can also grow to worship a worthy lover, a fitting response to this holiest of acts.

What a Sagittarius Needs
A true friend who can go toe-to-toe with the discerning Archer while not making any serious demands spells pure bliss as a partner. These independent souls also prize a lover who understands and embraces the value of alone time. Mental stimulation can be as exciting as the sexual kind for Sagittarians, and if conversation is honest and open, things will continue to develop and grow. An equal in the bedroom is also a delicious reward. Foreigners, or anyone fairly exotic, are often an irresistible lure to the Archer. The Sagittarius lover is a philosopher, wanderer and explorer who insists on living life to the fullest. The zest for adventure and quest for knowledge they possess will move many. Only independent folks need apply for this red-hot ride!

Love-Qoutes

i feel i'm not giving byg enough freedom

2007-06-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

sadly, i'm not in my best mood currently.

bloody thought that just come to me and messed me up entirely. i feel like i'm not such a good _____. seeing the way i treated you for the past few days, i feel like i'm _____ you. this is so unlike me. you cant even lead your own life without me being so _____ about you every minute. seriously, i feel i'm not giving you enough _____. with me being like this, just seeing it myself, i feel so ______. its even more worst for you cause you're the one who actually feeling it. i know you have your own life and your life doesnt only _____ on me but i dont know what came over me recently and i've changed so much till _________. what have happpened? i'm not even sure. all i can say is now i wanna change back to the old sharina and its better be quick or else you going to feel what i have felt two years ago.

i'm off. too much in mind now.

saw fathu and shahrul

2007-06-09T09:30:00.000+08:00

yesterday was overall a alright day except for in the morning cause i saw ____ and noon, i saw fucked up guy. yes. how unlucky am i. i didnt even bother to say hi or somthing to both of them for the main reason, i dont want to.

____, dont let me start talking about this guy cause seriously, he was the third party and luckily, i manage to get rid of him before i lose someone else.

and also, fucked up guy gave a miss call yesterday night for no reason i guess. when i call him back and i've also texted him, asking who is this, neither he picked up my call nor reply my text. seriously, i deleted his number in my phone long time ago but i knew it was his number due to the number seems familiar. oh, come on. its already 6 months' old story. you dont mean a thing to me now. you're the one who left me, so just let me live my own life without you existing in it anymore. its better that way.

anyway, after A LONG TIME of not meeting bayang, finally i met him yesterday. and you know what, safayafa safayangfang afawakfak lefebihfih bafanyakfak sefekafarangfang. i know no one could get it with what i have just said. coooool.

&& also, my ear is fine back. YIPEE!

me and byg official together

2007-06-06T21:30:00.000+08:00

i take this time to blog as often as i can.

yesterday, something surprising happened at 11.11pm. i didnt expected it. it shall remain a secret but i just love you [:

my right ear is aching since yesterday. yes, my ear. its not the whole ear though, its just the top part. imagine-able? the pain is unbearable and its like fhfjhgshughjshyguh aching. i cant even explain it in words how is the pain is and sadly, it comes and go.

oh yes, my ear-piece is spoilt AGAIN. eeeeerrrkk. i shall keep my pocket money for tomorrow and friday and ask for an extra 4 bucks from my mum to buy another ear-piece for myself on friday without her knowing. seriously, she will be mad at me again if she finds out about it cause i've been changing ear-piece like 4 times in 2 months.

thats all for today. good night people.

my life now.

2007-06-05T13:30:00.000+08:00

hello people [:

i'm still in school, doing F&N and i left like two pages to go. HAHA! surfing the net in the meanwhile before going back doing on my supposed to do project.

happy 2 months single yesterday sharina.

i've been busy lately, going out and study-date with FRIENDS. and also, i've started talking to the divas recently. but i try pretty hard not to get so close with them like i used to be. seriously, its a personal problem. why should you know about it?

how about my love-life now? hmm. firstly, i'm not so enthusiastic of knowing/meeting new guys now. i mean more as a friend that is. and secondly, i love that guy. his name should remain as a secret in here for now [:

i'm done.

F&N exam

2007-06-01T20:45:00.000+08:00

just now was the F&N practical exam. it was alright overall i guess though the minute i stepped out of the kitchen, i was perspire-ing badly as though i have run 10 round around the school. okay. make it 5 cause 10 sounds so dramatic. i got no comment on the food cause its neither not that bad nor not that good. i was dissapointed with taste of the carrot cake especially i make just now cause it doesnt taste that good like the one i make earlier during the practice exam. wth. sorry to bayang. i know my food is like __________ and you came all the way from home, just to taste it. i promise you, i'll do a better one when we go picnic one day.

by the way, as i was walking home, suddenly a memory came back flashing on my mind and i remembered seeing his name and my name on his handphone. sadly, i still miss him ]:

i'm out. nothing to say.

malay paper. divas without me now.

2007-05-28T14:30:00.000+08:00

hello. i'm back.

malay paper was okay. easier than expected. bloody ass that i didnt manage to finish my ending for composition. forming of sentences with the given words are like give-away. HAHA! anyway, its too early to say that i will do very well in malay cause oral is going to pull me way down. i just suck at oral for both languange. talking about oral, i've got an english oral tomorrow for prelims and my prelims are like on august. -_-"

F&N o lvl practical exam is on friday. i've been waiting for this day to come and i will get done and over with the coursework. coursework torturing ]:

i'm sad to say that i'm not going to mix with the divas that much these days. sorry girls. maybe till after prelims or something. before anything worse happen to any of us again, i think i should back off first. i maybe selfish to do this cause all i want to do is to excel in my studies. but is it wrong to think/do that way? seriously, we're not quarrelling. i dont wish to say why in here. you can just ask any of the 5 of us in school. i going to miss you guys. anyway, i'm hanging out with my former best-friends when i was secondary 2 in school now. its been awhile since i'm with them.

for the two weeks earlier part of june, i've got school which will end at 1pm for the first week while the other week, i've got F&N till 3pm. then the third week, all the retest will be up and i'm only left with the last week of june to enjoy the holidays and then school will be opening up back real soon. what the heck. its not fair. anyway, i'll be too busy with studying and i'm will only be going out on saturday so yeah. my time are fully booked now, meant for studying.

i'm off from here. going to prepare to study at geylang east library for later.

back. short one.

2007-05-27T11:30:00.000+08:00

its been three days since i updated. i told you that i wont blog that often now.

tomorrow is the malay paper. wish me luck people. seriously, i just find it like a normal exam paper currently. bloody ass. i need to revise and it have to be soon if i want to do well on my malay paper.

mid-year results suck. i passed only 2 subjects. the worst result i ever get in my whole life and my parents/my older siblings have not find out about it. darn it.

yes. a short entry today. i'm just lazy. =P

sports day 2007

2007-05-24T15:00:00.000+08:00

my 333 post today [:

i just got back from my school sports carnival/sports' day. ive decided to run finally due to not enough members and its my last year in this school. fyi: we're the only representative for rushmore for the B Division Girls'. its been a year since i've participated in this event and happily, we managed to get 2nd placing, how good is that? not to my suprise that everest got 1st. they got good runners i must say. congrats to them people.

&& i saw elmo everywhere. bloody ass. my good friends told me that he dyed his hair and he looks like "mat rep". oh, who doesnt know about that? but ironically, on the bus back home, i kept thinking about our past. i have to admit that somehow, i have not move on yet. yes, i do not think about him that often like i used to do but then, he's still lingers in my mind when i'm at home or in school or in the public. just let say everywhere. how sad to hear about it ]:

&& also, i have some doubts about my relationship with bayang cause i seriously still wanna remain single for some unknown reason. i just have that feeling recently. do you think that i like my relationship with him just going on like this till i dont know when with no string attached? you must be kidding me. its a waste of time, i tell you.

i think alot today i guess. i'm off from here. i need my rest and my happy thoughts will be back with me again.

short one

2007-05-24T06:30:00.000+08:00

this will be a short update.

finally, my baby tooth is out. i went to the school dentist yesterday. i didnt know that it hurts that bad seriously. i used to love to go to the dentist to take out my tooth when i was younger. back when i was in primary school. they tried suggested me to take out my other baby tooth too on my left upper jaw but then i vigorously shaked my head and screamed no. cancel the word scream and replace it with a said [:

been going home late recently. maybe going out again later after the sports day to search for kaya's present. talking about sports day, i MAY / MAY NOT run as i'm lazy to do it. blamed nabillah for putting my name at the list.

MT O LVL written paper is on monday. gosh.

i'm off to the stadium now.

now, i do.

2007-05-20T13:30:00.000+08:00

good noon people. i'm back again as i need to over-flow my thoughts for today.

yesterday incident make me realised something. something that i think wont happen to me again after my recent break-up with elmo. yes. i seriously like a guy all this while without knowing which is after so long, i've been denying to myself that 1) i'm not good enough for him, 2) he's too good for me and 3) i want to be single so that i can date ALOT of guys without having any worries. i've kept hurting him over and over again, which is the worst one was yesterday and now i'm afraid to lose him. i was stupid then that i didnt try to appreciate him nor even coming close to treasuring him but now i do so yeah, i love you [:

anyway, maybe i'm going out today to shop though i'm broke and i'm still figuring it out who to ask along. i cant go out with any other guy cause i know i gonna break someone's heart but thats the only choice i got. i hope he doesnt mind with it again. bear with me sweetheart aite.

i'm off from here. i havent eat my breakfast & lunch yet. toodles people.

i'm back. at last!

2007-05-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

seriously, i dont know myself anymore. i've change negatively. i thought doing all that wont affect me. i thought i was numb to all the pain and no more late night worries due to the break-up but i was wrong. i feel more guilty hurting someone's heart and keep on lying to someone else. do you think i'm that bad? sorry for the things that i've done to you. i hurt you more than i thought i would and more than i know but some things are just beyond my control. sharina stop relying/blaming on fate now. i know i can do some thing about it like i should tell him now, from the start but i dont think its the right time. so just stop asking me to do that cause i will repeatly say "its not the right time yet"

its been awhile since i've updated and that was like one week ago. i dont think blogging is my thing anymore. lets see how it goes later on for this blog.

i'll be out tomorrow again. when can i stop this and start concentrating on my studies even more? only god knows. XD

thats all for now.

frust && my birthday.

2007-05-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

i'm so frustrated with some people. i'm not naming their names though. i saw one of my favourite underground band in someone playlist in friendster. that someone is like one of my friends but we're not close as we do not talk to each other before in school but she had graduated last year. i'm not being unreasonable or something but please, let it be underground. by putting there, you're making it into something mainstream as people will be listening to them. you think putting "cool" songs on friendster, will make you appear cool then fucked off you fat ass.

anyway, today is marking day so no school for me. going out later with the divas and some of my girlfriends to vivo. seriously, they wanna give me a birthday bash but i'm scared that i will get angry instead and start beating them back. LOL. meeting bayang after that, so yeah [:

yesterday was fun but tiring. went to watch spiderman 3 with bayang at shaw orchard like at last. the show was good. then went boat quay as usual. we didnt do anything much the whole day yesterday as i was tired for unknown reason. thanks for the presents && for spending time with me on my birthday. i appreciate it alot for those times you were there for me like yesterday.

i'm off from here. batgirl needs to fly XD

birthday eve

2007-05-12T23:30:00.000+08:00

today was fun. watched anna judge april with wan and aaron for the first time as roy's band performed. yeah. they were great. didnt watch the whole gig as the third band was boring. no offence. i was looking forward with the ocean avenue band cause you know, i know. its the song title from yellowcard. okay. that is super random. but their band were the last one to perform so yeah, i didnt manage to see them.

i am irritated that my ear-piece is spoilt and i cant do anything about it. but thanks to dad that i got a cheap-skate ear-piece to use for now. i dont want to spent any money on some good ear-piece which ending up, spoilt after a month. anyway, i'm broke currently so i will buy a brand new one when i got some cash to spare and i got nothing better to do.

btw, i hate it when sharin's friends/friend-friends say this especially in front of me in public.

guy A: "hey, thats sharin's sister"
guy B: "which sharin?"
guy A: "you know sharin. sharin who lives near geylang there."
guy B: "oh that sharin. dhiya's ex huh?"
guy A: "yeah" then nodded away.

i hate being know as sharin's sister/twin. we may be twin but we're totally opposite. like seriously. his friends are his friends. my friends are my friends. we are different people, having different life paths with different mindset. you get it. WE ARE DIFFERENT.

honestly, i'm waiting for 12 midnight to come.

*like finally, 30 mins later*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHARINA. HAPPY SWEET 16. DO YOUR BEST IN O LEVEL . HAVE A SUPER SWEET/NICE/UNDERSTANDING/FRIENDLY BOYFRIEND LATER.GO AND ENJOY LIFE FOR NOW.

so now, i'm officially 16 years old && i'm old already. thanks to those friends who had wished me especially those who took an effort to buy me present. hey. you people doesnt need to do all that. i love you people very much and i'm glad to have friends like you all [:

random stuff

2007-05-12T00:30:00.000+08:00

my main reason for posting here at noon when i got the whole day to blog is because i'm just bored.

my birthday is like just tomorrow. its my 16th birthday && already, i feel so old. sadly, i'm super short so i guess i dont look like 16 but instead 14. haha. time flies and i'm graduating soon. o levels is coming up pretty fast and they told me its sweet 16. what the heck.

yes. i'm still single and going to be single till the end of o lvl which is on november. i love single life alot now. more guys i'm flirting to/dating to but honestly, no one really capture my heart. only bayang that i find so far is the only guy that is sincerely super sweet to me. [:

somehow or another, i miss elmo. i dont know why but i think its only been 1 month and 8 days since we broke up. oh yes. i took the courage to send him that text message last two week ago and till now, i got no distraction from him. i'm happy about that part and also its great that i've moving on about him slowly cause i no longer care about him like i used to. finally!

in the evening later, i'm going to artshouse for roy's peformance. hopefully, i will have fun there with aaron coming along with me too. tomorrow, i'm out with bayang. monday, its me with my girlfriends to vivo. the coming friday, catching a movie after school with juline and sumedaa. so my plans are tight this week.

all of this are random. you think i got alot of things say uh?

i'm back.

2007-05-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i've updated. yes. its been a week. been busy with mid-year exam and going out with "friends". anyway, today is the last paper. so yeah. lets go out and celebrate.

&& my birthday is coming up real soon. my schedule is tight these weekend and monday. i may go out today even. lets see whether i make it or not to meet bayang-bayang today cause i'm not feeling that well. bloody running nose. i got it since yesterday, F&N paper. i also feel like i'm going to have fever soon or something like that. damn it.

btw 100 %, i going to flung my science and maths. i think F&N too. oh who cares. =P

i'm off. nothing much to say anymore.

new friend && mid year

2007-05-04T20:00:00.000+08:00

its friday && yes, the weekend is up but sadly, i got no plans cause i would be staying home or out to study. that is my main focus for right now. like as if.

chemisty was difficult just now. even for those people who studied for it, said the same thing. as you can guess correctly, i didnt study any single thing for chemistry. oh who cares. other papers were so-so. i cant wait till next week then the exams are over.

&& my birthday is coming up also. i dont need anything special or expensive for my birthday from you people. just a wish on my special day, its already enough for me. seriously, i would be glad about it.

its been a month since i'm single.........

i'm off. i got a new friend to talk to in msn right now.

mis-year tomorrow

2007-04-29T21:15:00.000+08:00

i did a revision for maths just now. i did the ten year series on the first chapter of the book which is arithmethic XD. tried to do transformation but i still couldnt get it. forget it. i gave up. tomorrow, will be meeting bayang-bayang. tuesday, going aljunied macdonalds to study with awal. thanks dude. its wierd that i asked his help due to he used to hate me.

anyway, tomorrow, mid year starting. yeah. good luck people. i know i gonna have trouble in chemistry && combined humanities [structured essay]. so do offer me help aite cus i seriously need help in chemistry.

&& also, i may be hiatus or would rarely blog till the end of my mid-year exams. please be understanding [:

mid-year.

2007-04-28T19:15:00.000+08:00

its my 323 post today. how time flies and its already the last week of april 2007. YIPEE! may is up soon [:

you know what. after reading my past posts over and over again for this month, i seriously wanna have more control of myself especially when it comes to elmo. maybe later or something, i will message him the truth. about me, not wanting him to contact me back anymore for now and how i feel about him, doing all that. if i dont do it now, i dont know when i'm going to do it. yes. it is harsh for him but i need my own space for myself/to forget all about him/to concentrate more on my studies. and also, he seriously deserve that after he had put me through. i'm being too kind, letting him wasting my time over him where i know its no use and we will never be together anymore. trust me. i no longer have any feelings towards him.

i know i'm supposed to study but computer are my temptation. so far, what i did is that i've digged my sec 3 physics and pure geography files back for studying for the mid-year and organised the worksheet there. i've also done a physics sec 3 revision worksheet. hopefully, by 8pm, i'm off from here and continue, doing my F&N notes. currently, i'm lack of potential for duo/groupies studying with me, anyone?

thats all for today. happy-happy people (;

elmo call lagi.

2007-04-27T15:30:00.000+08:00

i got a splitting heacdache since morning. it comes and go actually. school was alright just now. didnt stay back for the punishment actually due to divas and i went late for the malay irp yesterday. exams are just next monday. i have not done any of the revision yet. yes. i'm way behind now && i'm not going out today since i'm not in the mood to and i'm sort of tired. sorry bayang. lets go out on sunday instead.

elmo called me yesterday night. what does he want from me actually? we have broken up like going to 1 month already && he kept coming back to me when there's no one to entertain him. what the hell. honestly, i thought that he actually regretted breaking up with me, each time he does that till in the morning just now, i found out that he likes this geylang methodist chinese girl. but from what i heard, that girl looks like a malay. fucked off elmo. i'm not going back to you. you suck.

i still remembered clearly this conversation we had yesterday when we were ending our call.

me: its already 12 am.
him: you dont want to talk to me issit?
me: no. you're the one who says you wanted to sleep at 12.
him: okay then. i wanna sleep already. good night. take care. bye.
me: good night. bye.
him: love you.
me: yeah right.
him: hehehehehe.

then off we put down the phone. what the fuck you tell me.

i gotta go. i'm done. i wanna eat XD

over it lyrics

2007-04-27T15:00:00.000+08:00

Over It

I'm over your lies,
and I'm over your games.
I'm over you asking me,
when you know I'm not okay.
You call me at night,
and I pick up the phone.
And though you've been telling me,
I know you're not alone.
oh..

bridge:
That's why
(your eyes)
I'm over it
(your smile)
I'm over it
(realize)
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over..

chorus:
Wanting you,
to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over..
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it..

I'm over your hands,
and I'm over your mouth.
Trying to drag me down,
and fill me with self-doubt.
oh..

bridge:
That's why
(your words)
I'm over it
(so sure)
I'm over it
(I'm not your girl)
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over...

chorus:
Wanting you,
to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over..
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it..

Don't call,
don't come by,
ain't no use,
don't ask me why,
you'll never change,
there'll be no more crying in the rain.

chorus x2:
Wanting you,
to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over..
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it..
I'm so over it....
I'm over it....

sunday && monday.

2007-04-23T18:00:00.000+08:00

monday lessons are boring but times flies fast and i'm home now. nothing much happenned. going to school and going home, i'm alone like usual. i'm used to it.

it was true that elmo's girlfriend is dumping him due to his friends are his top priority, instead of her as that is what she feels. now then i realized about that assumption that she made is true. as most teenagers especially girls excluding me seriously, are putting their friends on the top of the list, then their boyfriend. ask your girlfriends around if you dont believe me. but i cant give you any answer whether both of them have broken up yet. oh who cares.

kiwi, my english is not good. dont blindly praise me. i have a long, long way to go to write good english and i'm still learning to. btw, to some friends of his, kiwi and i are just good friends. purely friends. there's nothing going on with us. dont assume things as you guys think it is and i know he seriously likes _____. i've already got someone in mind in the first place [:

yesterday, bayang-bayang and i went from vivo to orchard to boat quay to esplanade then we went home at around 9 plus. it was fun yet "interesting" day. i'm not going to elaborate much on it. its between me and him. anyway, he is meeting me tommorrow. going to tiong bahru with him after irp to get a replacement of my spoilt ez-link. with the condition of my ez-link currently, doesnt suprised me at all.

i gotta go. homeworks are pilling up.

he called. dumb.

2007-04-21T18:30:00.000+08:00

my plans for today is cancelled due to i have to babysit my nephew. yes. this is the problem i face always on every saturday especially. but its alright i guess cause i'll be going out tomorrow instead.

shafiq, we havent confirm about our date tommorrow. somehow or another, i dont feel like going though i know he is going to treat me with the food. but i wanna meet my bayang-bayang too. you tell me how now?

yesterday, was super hilarious to think about it. i get so _____. that was the first time i actually show my _____ out to any guy. sorry yeah. i'm just not used of seeing you, texting other girls && i have gotten over it so now you can do it publicly and infront of me. i wont mind due to our deal we have make. i must be fair.

around 4 just now, elmo called. i seriously thought it was faiz due to i didnt reply his messages earlier. we talked for about half an hour then he have to go. i really didnt want to talk to him, but since i've already said a happy hello, i have no other choice but to just talk to him. he kept asking me why didnt i have a boyfriend since we broke up && i replied, i'm just not ready for another one. i guess he thought i would answered that i still cant forget him or something like that due to that was what i told his bestfriend a few days before i knew elmo has/had a girlfriend when his bestfriend asked me to be his girlfriend. fyi: elmo told me that the girl has already dumped him as they were having some problems which i dont even care to know and in the first place, as if i still naively believe him.

off i go. nothing much to say.

elmo, ade gf. ]:

2007-04-20T15:30:00.000+08:00

its friday at last. been waiting for friday since ever. i've been busy with school and found out some latest news about my ex boyfriend on wednesday. yes. that moronic, idiotic, dumbass, fuck off elmo. i seriously despised him for giving me hope again. what the hell.

TO HIM;
you know what, i dont think i want to be your friend. i want us to be like what when we were last year. you dont know me and i dont know you. yes. lets be stranger again. its way better than to admit that i know you even. i regretted being a fool. someone who make those sacrifices for you. believing your lies and yes, i stupidly believe everything you said. you have a girlfriend the next day after you broke up with me. yes. a geylang methodist, sec two girl name huda. and just last friday, you said all those words to have me back and nearly, make me change my mind about being single and give us another try. i dont mind that you have a girlfriend, but why must you said all that? those stuff you said that you still love me and miss me when you know that i havent got over you yet? why, tell me, why? you seriously dissapointed me so much. you deserve the way i treated you in the morning, when you were talking to me. i'm not going to be that nice and why should i?, after what you have done to me. i hate seeing you, that is the reason i dont even wish to talk to you. dont come and find me back. i'm not gonna be there for you this time around. i'll walk away from your life so that i will have nothing to do with you && you will have nothing to do with me anymore. i'm not gonna go back on my words now. hopefully, that two-timer girlfriend of yours will change and will give you the happiness that you want.

at last, my thoughts are cleared about this.

i'm going out to meet bayang-bayang later. sorry sweetheart that i cant make it to meet you outside your school just now. so sorry. forgive me, will you?

happy birthday to haiqal today, caide, on the 12th and jordan on the 15th. all of them used to be my someone special. this is so coincident. XD

plans for today.

2007-04-15T13:15:00.000+08:00

noon to all.
no plans for today as i have to do homework and i'm lazy to go anywhere and i'm broke.

lots of plan coming up for me this weekend;
friday: going out with bayang-bayang
saturday: go out my girlfriends/study-date
sunday: the study-date[postphone or something]/go out with shafiq-drummer

my mind is in a mess right now. been thinking about it especially since friday. dont ask me anything about elmo. i cant give you any answer about us. nor about bayang-bayang. i feel bad, doing all this to him. sigh.

sudden plan

2007-04-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

i had a sudden last minute plan for just now. yes. i went out with bayang-bayang again. we went to orchard, just walking around. just reached there and i have to see this girl who i hate the most in school. ask me personally whats her name. i just dont wish to mention it. anyway, i saw mable and her friend at heeren then saw alwyn with his girl on the way to cine. both people asked me the same question, "is that your boyfriend?" tsk. tsk. *shakes head*

then went esplanade, meet up with rasul and azhar. i saw al-hafiz, my pri sch mate. i managed to talk to him for awhile and he took my number for contact. i saw asri again, didnt want to talk to him. like as if i really bother about him int the first place.

i lied to my mum that i going out with my girlfriend but sadly, she finds out that i went out with a guy when bayang-bayang called me, to tell me that he just went out from his house. she was using the phone when bayang-bayang called my house number as my phone has a second line. this is what she said after i put down the phone. fyi; the conversation was in malay.

mum: "as if you going out with your girlfriend. confirm going out with a guy one."
me: "no. with my girlfriend lah."
mum: "then just now, who called? gay ah?"
me: "ya. ya. my gay-friend called."

to me, it was super hilarious. luckily she doesnt scold me or ground me or something. i love my mum lots[:

anyway, elmo contacted me back yesterday. he somehow, asked for a patch indirectly. we stopped texted each other at around 6pm just now. i still keep his messages to show to the divas on monday. i'm confused with everything he said. it just doesnt make sense. seriously, when i can stop believe-ing his lies?

quotes.

2007-04-14T10:30:00.000+08:00

no. i'm not blogging for now. maybe later. just putting up some quotes that coincide with my feelings currently. here, i am reffering to elmo much except for the one in number 11. that person should know that i'm talking about me and him [:

1. Sometimes it feels like i need you so much that i can't stand life without you; then you go and be an ass.
2. What happened to forever?
3. There's no such thing as heartbreak. its just not true love.
4. We spend our whole lives telling ourselves, everything happens for a reason. when in reality, it's just that we give reasons for everything that happens.
5. i could forgive you && forget everything that happened. but that wouldnt make it any better. we'll never be able to go back to the way it used to be. you had the world in your hands, but instead you threw it away. so dont expect me to feel sorry for something that was your own fault.
6. Never assume. Because you will just make an ASS out of U and ME.
7. The only person who you need in your life are the people who need you in theirs too.
8. No matter how much I don't want to believe it; maybe we just aren't meant to be.
9. Maybe I still love you. But i will never think of you as I did. You're no longer the cute, funny guy i knew. You don't make me laugh or smile anymore. When I think of you, I don't get butterflies. I don't remember the late night conversations, or the times you would hold me. Nope. I remember how you set me up. Let me believe i could trust you. And just when I thought there was nothing better, you let me fall. I don't remember the good times. But you know what I do remember?? I remember waiting all night for you to call. I remember waking up and instantly crying because i remembered you werent here . I remember crying all night long. I remember thinking that it was me. That i wasn't good enough for you. That I was the one that was wrong. I remember not wanting to sleep because you were the only person that I care. I remember the promises you made, that were never fulfilled. I remember the plans you made. I remember how i gave you my heart, and you held it for awhile, then crushed it. Thats what i remember. I remember caring so much. And you couldnt even give a damn. Now I have all these guys that want to be with me. And they would treat me a thousand times better than you did. Believe me. But I only get one heart, and I gave it to you. I can't take it back. But i wish I could.
10. Sometimes, not too often but sometimes, I get hit with the memory of how much you meant to me, just when I thought that I was finally okay with forgetting.
11. It's probably the wrong time to tell you this, But, well, maybe its the perfect time. I realize how incredibly confusing things are between us right now. I can't even begin to explain our relationship. You probably can't either. But I just want you to know that if you ever need me, I'll always be here for you.
12. I miss having you in my life. Im realizing that you could still be here if I wanted you to, but obviously not as the way we were but we can still be friends, and then I wouldnt totally be losing you. But i have to find a way to move on. How can i move on if i still want you? still want us to talk? still tell each other things? Like we use to do, you know? How can i still want all that and know deep inside that i cannot have you to myself. Being friends? I'll have to forget you exist and start all over again before that can even become an option.

credit to xo__quotebites

a long post.

2007-04-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

alot of things happenned this week. i shall refer my schedule planner in case i missed out on certain important things.

monday: nura and i went to meet her boyfriend and yan after school at bugis. yes. its been 4 straight days, i went to bugis for a week. and everytime, if yan is with us, i somehow feel embarrased. for goodness sake, i dont know why. honestly, i dont have any feelings towards him no matter how much nura's boyfriend and her wanna us to be together. but around 4 or 5 plus, went to meet bayang-bayang and shazz at bugis macdonalds'. walk around for awhile then bayang-bayang send me home and we completed our 3 mins. YEAH [:

tuesday: skipped ava due to i'm tired as early in the morning, my class was having PE and we played captain's ball with the sec 2 though we lost to them, but we put all our effort into playing it. and also they asked me to watch them play soccer at st wilfred and he was playing too, do you think i bother to go there even? i rather go home and sleep. why should i waste my time on him?

wednesday: my one week single. then he asked for a patch during break time but i replied no. darling, if you seriously wanna be with me back, take an effort to call me or just message me. you dont have to ask your best friend to do the job for you. i worth something more than that and yes. i'm playing hard to get this time around.

thursday: i had my NAFA. i did badly for sit-reach. other stations, is either a A or a B. i guess i get another silver this year again. i wanna get gold.

today: i went out with bayang-bayang at last. been waiting for this day to come. we went tampines then pasir ris then esplanade. i saw asri and faiz nipon there and i manage to talk to them. yeah. nothing much change with them. they are still the same.

its been awhile since i've blog. off i go to msn.

bayang-bayang

2007-04-08T23:00:00.000+08:00

i went out again with bayang-bayang without doing any homework. yeah. oh who cares. i have fun, went out with him just now especially with the 1 min && 2 min stuff that we done when we're together. shessshhh. its a secret between us and no one else should know.

sorry for whatever things i said just now when we are on the way home. i know somehow or another, i may hurt you but i really hate confrontation especially when i'm in my happy mood. you're really special to me. seriously. you mean alot to me && i treasure you.

the facts that i dont want to be in relationship;

firstly because like what i said, i wanna know you more
secondly, i just broke up with elmo recently.
thirdly, i wanna take things slow. i dont wish to rush into things
fourthly, i just wanna keep my options open to guys that i'm interested in knowing
fifthly, i am just scared that i will make the same mistake i did in the past
lastly, as i have promised faiz, i wont be in relationship till after o level

yesterday, went out to meet roy iryan and friends. he is not that bad seriously. yeah. a very nonsensical yet nice guy. he keep on showing his moves everywhere he goes, just because he goes clubbing. what the heck.

anyway, i'll be going out to meet anis tomorrow with nura too. go chill at esplanade or something. i'm not sure. honestly, i dont wish to go cause i'm lazy too but i got no other choice.

i gotta go now.
school starting again tommorrow.

survey

2007-04-07T12:30:00.000+08:00

its been awhile since i've done any survey and posted here.

DO YOU ENJOY BEING IN SCHOOL?
mostly yes due to my friends are there.

WHAT'S YOUR PLAN ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL?
i guess i will make a fun of myself/do somthing stupid for the last time in school while wearing the school uniform.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WHEN ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS SUDDENLY HATES YOU?
i will apologize for the things that have make her/him hate me in the first place and try to make friends with them back. but if they are like acting cold towards me when i'm around them, dont even think that i will be that nice cause by then, i wont bother being friends with you even .

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF A GUY/GIRL STARTS TO FLIRT WITH YOU?
if somehow i have the chemistry with him, yes, i will flirt back.

IF YOU'RE A GIRL, AND A REALLY CUTE GUY SUDDENLY HUGS YOU, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
i will give this wierd look face while smiling to what have happened and in my mind, i will go "oh my god!!!" [:

WHICH WILL YOU MOST LIKELY HAVE...

PANCAKES OR WAFFLES?
pancakes

RICE OR SPAGHETTI?
spaghetti

MILKSHAKES OR SODA?
both. milkshakes are nice to drink. soda will make me burp.

RAMEN OR BURGER KING?
burger king.

WHICH PLACE DO YOU THINK,IS THE BEST PLACE TO HAVE A FIRST DATE?WHY??
walking along the beach, talking/joking around while our feet in the sand while the sun is setting . it is so sweet and no one ever done that to me yet. so yeah, i am giving some ideas to the guys that wanna date me in the future XD

WHICH IS BETTER, EMINEM OR SIMPLE PLAN?
simple plan.

IF YOU'RE A GIRL,WOULD YOU PREFER JEANS OR SKIRTS?
jeans. it would be a rare thing that i use skirt.

WOULD YOU TAKE A SIP OF ALCOHOL?
for now, nope. i'm young. who knows in the future right? XD

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CIGARETTES?
no comments. smoking doesnt turn me off that much.

DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A NERD OR A COOL PERSON?
nerd i guess. i have the most nerd-iest cca and i'm one of the two malay seniors who joined it.

ARE YOU A FAN OF LORD OF THE RINGS OR HARRY POTTER?
harry potter. i love that guy, draco malfoy. he makes me go crazy over him everytime i watch harry potter. seriously, lord of the rings is boring. its all about the ring && who cares about that ring?

elfie thing. excuses.

2007-04-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

i just got back from boat quay with bayang-bayang. we went to chill there. yeah. today wasnt that peaceful that he wanted it to be, compared to last week. i guess today is a public holiday so tourists and the locals are going out.

before that, we went to bugis juction, there i saw hatim and delphine again XD hatim was like smiling at me when he saw me. i have the feeling that he gonna tell elmo about it. oh who cares. and delphine thought that bayang-bayang is my boyfriend due to he was standing so close to me. hey. fyi; now, i'm putting aside my interest of finding a boyfriend. theres always time for that later on especially after o levels.

yes faiz. i'm keeping my word in our promise that i should remain single till o level ended. i'll try.

he broke up with me due to he wanted more freedom, yes, that was what irfhan told me. you tell me, since when did i restricted his freedom? i was that frustrated at him since yesterday but luckily today, my anger managed to cool down somehow or another. he is just making up excuses. such a liar. it is much more easier to say that you just wanna flirt around with other girls and you dont want to be commited to one. you dont have to sound as if i'm the one at fault here. but the irony thing is that i pretty much miss talking to him and how i wish we were still together and were so happy being with each other company's like how we were 2 months ago. why all this have to happen so fast in a blink of an eye.

i have to go
my bed time now

we broke up. i cut hair.

2007-04-05T06:00:00.001+08:00

it all ends yesterday
yes, he broke up with me
&& till now, i still cant believe we have broken up

i'm not that sad that i supposed to or should be cause i have expected this to happen. but i didnt think that its gonna happen yesterday. i was holding back my tears during chemistry. i dont blame him entirely as somehow or another, its my fault for the break up so dont come up on me, console me and say he sucks and i deserve someone better cause you just making me feel worst rather than feeling better.

his fault:
i wasnt his top priority. he starting to contact me lesser and lesser ever since a few weeks ago and i've been tolerating this for at least a month. yes. it happened to me again. he is always busy with soccer and neglected me the whole time. he is the one who is always cancelling our plan together and spent most of his time with his friends. he is never there for me when i was down and seriously, if he truly loves me, he would try to save this relationship, instead of ending the "problems" by breaking up with me.

my fault:
maybe its my fault that i didnt show enough concern towards him. i began not to care about the worries i have in the relationship after i thought to myself that he didnt even do anything about it nor he didnt even try to talk about it though somehow, i knew he knew that we are drifted apart. i was spending too much time on my "new friend". yes. i am that bad. such a bad girlfriend. i should have just remain committed to him and all these wont happenned. i was thinking too much for myself that in school, i didnt wish to talk to him. i follow my ego-ness than trying to save this relationship. i should have known better.

my ego:
stop saying that "lets be friends" phrase cause i'm sick of hearing it. i've been making sacrifices more than you did to me, but what did i get in the end, nothing from you. you gonna regret what you did to me cause you doesnt know how to treasure me and someday, your turn will come. i seriously know that i deserve someone better. why should i stick on to a guy who always find me only when he wants me to be there. you are totally immature so dont try to come back to me cause i wont want you by then && you never gonna last long with a girl if you keep on wanting to break up with them so one advice, FUCK OFF.

but deep in my heart, i miss him more than you know it ]:

jumpe byg2.

2007-04-02T17:00:00.000+08:00

suprised that i'm blogging on a monday afternoon? yes. yes. i went home way earlier than sharin.

i met bayang-bayang for a short period of time just now as we wanted to go home. supposedly our plan was to go somewhere else to chill or something but due to i wasnt in my mood and he is broke so yeah, i cancelled it after thinking twice. so sorry to him && thanks for travelling from tampines and all the way to boon keng mrt, just to meet me though your dad was like telling you not to go out today. thank you so much darling. i introduced him to anis and her boyfriend and the "divas" without kaya since they are there and i have the chance to do that. to be honest, i rarely introduce my 'guy-friend' to the "divas" or to my other close girlfriend if they didnt know that 'guy-friend' of mine unless that 'guy-friend' is my boyfriend. isnt it obvious i'm hinting something here to you? anyway, my bayang-bayang, your headset is with me. when you're gonna get it?

all of this gonna be random.
i gonna cook carrot cake on wednesday.
my boyfriend doesnt know that i do care about him
i gonna have frequent moodswings these few days
my bayang-bayang is super duper sweet to me
i'm going to the sunday gig where aaron is performing
that geylang methodist guy smiled at me again
i'm way behind in my f&n coursework
friday, i'm going to hidayat house to chill around

i wanna sleep now.
my dreams invaded me.

saw sharin after so long.

2007-04-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

i went out with my bayang-bayang just now. i seriously enjoyed my time with him. we went from bugis to marina to esplanade then marina back then clarke quay. i may be meeting him tomorrow after school. hey dude, i love your company [:

i met delphine with justin when i was on the way back home. i saw sharin, yes, my dearly ex-boyfriend at esplanade with his band members around 4 plus or 5 plus. maybe he have just finish jamming. i didnt manage to say hello or anything like that due to i dont know, maybe i was not ready to do all that yet or maybe i didnt have the gut to do so.

anyway, this is a new skin like obviously. i'm bored of the old one. i know its way simpler than the previous skin. well, i didnt have the whole time to do it.

more update soon i supposed. its getting late. i'm schooling tomorrow, remember? good night.

org kahwin [:

2007-03-31T13:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY TWO MONTHS SAYANG [:

he called me at 12.29am this morning. luckily he called me or else i think i seriously tell myself to give up on him. but i didnt picked the call up cause i was fast asleep and i didnt hear the ringing tone and its not something that i purposely do it honestly. i gave him the anniversary message at 6.30 am today and instead of 1.39 am which i planned to cause i overslept.

i woke up like so early today for no apparent reason. even my mum told me the same thing in the morning.

anyway, later i will be going to my relative wedding ceremony near eunos. i was forced to go by my mum as you can see. i seriously got no choice about it && i hate wearing baju kurung/baju kebaya. erk. so i may not blog or be online at night cause most probably, by the time, i reach home, i will just want to fall asleep.

i'm off.
i seriously cant take it anymore.
i going to take a nap now.

my moodswings are around

2007-03-30T23:15:00.000+08:00

i've not been feeling well since on the way home
&& adding in with my personal problems i'm facing
yes. i seriously not myself the whole day

i went out to meet bayang-bayang just now
&& nura followed us too
i did enjoyed myself when i'm with all of them
though my moodswings was up on the air

anyway, tommorow is our 2th month
right now, i'm not even sure
i should be happy or dissapointed about it

he didnt even contact me the whole day
nor he didnt even tried.
i'm tired of being the one
to do all the "work" in the relationship
the first one to call him. the first one who texted him.
the first one who is always making plan

stop running further and further away from me
&& playing hard isnt getting me any nearer to you
i wont bother chasing after you
when you have run so far away from me
whats the point of doing all that
when i'm already your girlfriend

i'm seriously not letting this go.
i know i deserve someone better
but somehow and something make me think otherwise
whatever it is, i'm still waiting for 1.39am [:

voice=lost it

2007-03-26T16:34:00.001+08:00

I LOST MY VOICE!!!

i'm sad
i lost it during physics
which is after recess
i'm not surprised about it though
cause i would lose it every year
either once or twice

anyway, school today was so-so
starting from next week or something
everyday i have to go home at 6.30pm
due to i failed four subjects
first time i get 3 F9 -_-

left none to say
vrrrroooooommmm

rasul nye horoscope thingy

2007-03-26T16:00:00.000+08:00

FOR MY DEAR & ONLY RASOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
i'm not sure how many O's he wanna put in his name XD

LIBRA: The lame lover
Very pretty/handsome. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet. Amazing in Bed. Not the kind of person you wanna mess with because u might end up crying. The most irresistible.

the more i notice about this horoscope thingy
the more i realise most of the phrases are repeating
in every horoscope so dont believe it entirely [:

happy but elfie. sigh.

2007-03-25T09:20:00.001+08:00

good morning everyone

i cant wait, meeting my bestie later
been 5 weeks since we went out together
i miss going out with her and all
though i know we're in the same class

i will be going home early today
due to she going out with her family at 6pm
so yeah. i will be online by evening.

elmo didnt contact me for the past 3 days
i seriously dont know what happen to him
we are drifted apart day by day with me noticing it
darling, please dont treat me this way ):

horoscope predictions

2007-03-25T09:00:00.000+08:00

i get this from my yan-yan XD
when will be your next sunshine course?

ME:
Taurus: The Tramp
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy. Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Most caring person you will ever meet. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most sexiest people on earth.

ELMO & HAFIZ[BEAN]:
Aquarius: Does It In Water
Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in bed, The best lovers to have.

NURA, KAYATHIRE & HIDAYAT:
Gemini: Does Twosomes
Nice. Their love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very good in bed. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. Very forgiving. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. Ultra Sexy, The most irresistable.

BAYANG-BAYANG:
Sagittarius:. The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet. Amazing in Bed. Not the kind of person you wanna mess with, you might end up crying.

AARON, ZUBAIDAH & FAIZ[FAUZAN]:
Virgo:The Virgin
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first sight. Someone that you ever wanted. Easy to please. Commited to one. Ultimate sexiness.

NABILLAH:
Scorpio: The Sex Addict
Can be mean. Extremely sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. Freak in bed. Great kisser. Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring.

**note to them: korang jangan kembang sudah [:

happy lah

2007-03-24T23:30:00.000+08:00

MY HAPPY MOOD IS BACK [:
FUCK THOSE MOODSWING I HAD

i just got home from esplanade
seriously i'm exhausted from it
&& my neck is like aching now
for no apparent reason ):
i regret wearing what i wore just now
should have not wear that to esplanade
a lesson to be learn for me next time

i saw tons of people there
as in i know them
i shall mention who
cause its countable
faris, mastura, adam,
shahrizan, kid and aeris
not tons of people after all

going out with my bestie tommorrow
but she have to be back by 6pm
so yeah. i will be free after that
any takers for the time period of 6.30pm-9pm?

its late
i'm off to bed now

problems

2007-03-23T16:00:00.000+08:00

i'm not in my mood
&& my thinking alot is up again.

this week have been a torture to me. studies, elmo and even, my relationship with bayang-bayang are not in the good terms. just say that lately everything around me have been cruel to me and i dont take it positively.

firstly, studies, i'm like way lagging behind. seriously behind in everything. teachers are complaining about my late work or not handing stuff or not studying hard for class test but all i can do is just laugh it out loud and tell myself, there is still time to do/catch up with them. i'm in my self-denial mode even though

MID-YEAR IS NEXT MONTH,
PRELIM IS DURING JULY
&& O LEVELS ARE COMING UP ON OCTOBER ]:

secondly, for elmo, i try to be there for him but seriously, its like i'm nowhere to be seen to him and my efforts are like worthless cause he is not with there for me back. even waiting for me for 15 mintues, its such a drag to him. wth. he should have waited i know.

lastly, for bayang-bayang, if you think like i'm taking advantage of you, go on with your life and go find other and better girls. they are worth something more than being with me. i'm so sorry for making friends with you. if i didnt, all this wont happen. its my fault and not yours so dont keep on blaming yourself. i will still be your friend no matter what but i'm not gonna call you and i'm not gonna meet you that often like what i used to do so yeah. we're still friends but for now, give me some time alone. i seriously in need one.

i'm off.
toilet break XD