i went out with farhan to bugis for awhile for a lunch then meeet up with boyfriend. after the past three days of not being good terms with him, i put that aside and try to enjoy my day with him. and you guess what, it just get worser. fcuk lah seh.

yes, its my fault i'm making this situation hard between us. i'm trying to regain my trust back on you. i admit you did nothing wrong, but i just dislike when you try to separate me from my friends by your jealousy. my fault that my friends are mostly guys but you know how my situation is right? its true that you have change now, i can see that. maybe, just maybe i would be the same like i used to be when i'm with you. but i just need the time. give me few weeks at least and i bet you, i'll be the same. sorry if i've been neglecting you all these while when i'm with my friends. sorry that i've been lying to you, ALOT of times. sorry for hurting you for the past three days especially. i'm trying to make this better, i swear. but for now, its not the right time to amend things between us when my exams are still up. i'm like fucking stress whenever i think about my future, studies and you have never know how much i think about us, do you? you never knew, precisely. i've been bottling up all this cause i dont want you to see my vulnerable side. i've always been strong, ego thats what you kept telling me. blame it all on my ego cause i'm putting things on my stride for now. 5 months are coming sooon, bear with me alright?

seriously, aku bobual belit-belit. orang dah sedih, maner boleh fikir straight, goblok.

If Only You Know
11:15 PM