wee.. just came back home from sumedhaa house.. went there to bake cookies and her family was TOTALLY friendly.. first time making the cookies, the cookies was TOO soft like a muffin but the second try, it turn out great.. taste quite nice cause i can taste the almond essence.. eek.. not that nice but overall to me, its okay and even sumedhaa grandfather says its nice!!.. her cousin was cute.. TOTALLY cute.. awesome.. went there like for 3 hrs just to bake about 50 cookies.. =)

her grandfather was like asking me about my family.. and how i should treasure them and all stuff.. yup.. i was there like agreeing every thing that he says and after that, he says how he treasure his wife due to his stroke been grateful to his family and grandchildren like sumedhaa.. even when he wanted to take a shower, he need someone to help him.. i was like just act interested in what he says.. he actually cried when he says about something even though i cant hear what the hell his talking about but all i just do is nod and say orh.. hahahax.. =p.. and i feel like crying when i saw him crying.. dumb me.. i'm just being emotional..

went home then when i reach my void deck then suddenly i remember sumething.. iremembered that tommorrow is eeuu'r birthday.. TOTALLY forgot the whole day today.. how bad am i.. =) luckily i saw eeuu only in the morning.. didnt give eeuu any present tho.. sowie.. =(.. i'm quite busy these few days.. giving eeuu the present for your birthday when i have the time to look for one.. =(

tomorrow, is the weekend.. bored.. sian.. i just going to die from all this.. started to have feelings for *him again.. oh god.. why is this happening to me AGAIN..

need eeuu more during this time cause i dont want to dig up all my past all over again.. i'm just hate to live off the happiness of the past.. they just sucks.. telling me to pretend so much again.. wanna get rid of this but why.. oh why.. cant i.. making the past mistake.. wanna just stop this endless tears from falling.. there's so much pain for me to bear about the past.. they just making me to forget eberything that happens now.. its this what i really want?? to be strong to the lost of the *one that i really love for just another person.. to wait for so long for a guy who i knew that he have feelings for me.. give up to what i really wanted and believe in.. and pretend that i dont even care with the people that is around me.. i give up with all this.. haiz..

just wanna end here.. wanna eat.. my stomach grubbling for food.. wee.. tata.. ciaoz..

If Only You Know
8:52 AM